Growing up, I believed that all religions are the same, that doing good is all that matters.
But my best friend Adrian Ng questioned my beliefs.
He would ask things like:
- “By what standard do you think you are good enough to save yourself?”
- “How do you communicate with your God?”
- “How do you know that it’s the voice of God talking to you?”
- “How do you describe your relationship with your God?”
I was not a Christian and I got frustrated every time Adrian started to discuss Jesus with me. I would get really annoyed and challenge him.
Adrian would say there is only one God and He came in the form of Jesus who took on our sins and freed us to have eternal life with Him. Only by accepting Jesus, we can be with God.
If I were to agree with Adrian, I would have to admit that I was wrong.
I argued that there is only one God but He came in different forms, teaching us different ways to go back to Him according to the need and enlightenment of individuals. Jesus is only one of the ways.
If I were to agree with Adrian, I would have to admit that I was wrong. But nobody likes to be wrong, so definitely ego and pride were involved.
Four years of intense debates wore Adrian and Patrick’s friendship down.
At the same time, I also feared that our debates were destroying the friendship we had for many years.
So, to avoid any tension, I would always try to change the subject whenever Adrian starting talking about Jesus.
Tensions brewing
Ultimately, there were no winners in our discussions – only victims. Adrian and I were both spiritually, physically and mentally exhausted after four years of big debates.
Neither of us was happy. I didn’t feel any peace. In fact, I felt very sad.
We came to a point where we didn’t want to debate – or even talk – anymore.
Neither of us was happy. I didn’t feel any peace. In fact, I felt very sad.
This made me hate Christianity even more because it was causing me to lose a friend whom I really cherished.
But it was when we both agreed to stop debating that things started happening in my life.
Seeing signs
As a music teacher, I suddenly had more Christian students than ever during that time.
I also started seeing signs around me.
When Patrick (left) and Adrian agreed to stop arguing about the faith, Patrick started noticing vehicles with stickers that proclaimed God’s love for him.
For example, when I was driving, I kept seeing vans with stickers with words like “Jesus loves you”, “God loves you” and “God has never left you”.
Usually I wouldn’t care. But all these signs kept coming, and they made me question whether God was trying to tell me something.
In 2015, Patrick, a music teacher, noticed that he was attracting more Christian students. He is pictured with a mini version of a yangqin that he plays.
Finally one day in 2015, I saw a taxi with the words “You are not alone”.
When I arrived home, I shouted: “Jesus, if you are real, you better show it to me, or I will never ever believe you.”
I said it in frustration, but also hopelessness. I didn’t know what to do anymore.
Even though it sounded like I was scolding God, deep inside I was really calling for help.
I was tired of arguing with my friend.
I also felt tired and helpless in other areas of my life. I often didn’t have the power to do anything on my own and believed I was being punished for my wrongdoings.
No matter how hard I worked, the results seemed small and insignificant. I thought I wasn’t get the recognition and financial success I craved. Money was a sore point in my family.
Message in a dream
That night when I went to bed, I saw a very bright light which shone on my face. I felt everything around me shaking vigorously and I couldn’t move my body.
There was such an intense power, and I heard the audible voice of God saying: “You are not alone. I have never left you.”
I woke up with my entire body feeling like it had been electrocuted.
In my dream, I also saw a text message that came through a phone saying: “Congratulations, God has sent you a message.”
I woke up with my entire body feeling like it had been electrocuted. I also started crying.
I knew that God had shown me how much He unconditionally loves me – a person who had condemned Christians for so many years.
Even though I challenged Him, He said that He had never left me and that He’s always with me.
I felt at peace when I woke up. This peace was very different from the peace I got through meditating. It broke the hardness in my heart and I knew that I was free.
Knowing the way
I wanted to know Him more, but because of my stubbornness, I didn’t want to be a Christian.
I told Adrian about the dream, and he told me that the message of God not leaving me is from a verse in the Bible:
“And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
I wanted to know Him more, but because of my stubbornness, I didn’t want to be a Christian.
Adrian also asked me to read the first four books of the New Testament in the Bible if I wanted to know Jesus.
So I started from the Book of John.
Then I read the sentence where Jesus says: “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)
That verse made me cry again.
Because Jesus had already showed me that He is real, I couldn’t deny His Word – that He is the only way to the Father.
As I read the Bible and listened to sermons, I felt God answering my questions. I became sure of my identity in Christ and the authority I have as a child of God.
That was when I repented and started to have a relationship with Him.
Two weeks after Patrick (right) became a Christian, he and Adrian (below) led their classmate (top) to Jesus.
A few months down the road, my heart was prepared to fully accept Jesus.
I wanted to be baptised and become a Christian.
Sharing with love
After I experienced the love of God, I understood why Adrian was so persistent during those four years. It was because he had tasted something so good.
When you experience the love of God, you don’t care about how people judge you anymore; you don’t care about rejection anymore.
You just know that you need to try your best to share with others about how good God is and let them experience what you have experienced.
Patrick with his wife and son, who will be turning 3 this year.
Adrian and his family.
The mistake that Adrian and I made was trying to win each other over in debates, instead of having a win-win situation by showing love and letting the person experience God’s love at the right time.
When we are merely out to prove people wrong, it’s natural for them to shut down and not want to hear any more.
God suggested a gentler, more effective way for Adrian (lower right, with Patrick) to share about His goodness. He told Adrian, “Why not just get to know them and their problems, and share about how you overcame your problems with My help?” Screenshot from One for Jesus.
Nevertheless, I believe that those four years of Adrian sharing God with me were not in vain.
Whatever he shared with me were seeds that took root in my heart – just that it took four years for shoots to spring up.
I had a very hardened heart towards God. Without seeing the supernatural, and God’s spirit winning me over, I would never have believed.
Part of this story first appeared in Thir.st.
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