Two weeks before she died, Mdm Chin was reunited with her siblings, saw her husband change … Miracle or coincidence?
By
Gemma Koh
, 28 May 2022
Mdm Chin Lie Choo had two simple wishes before dying. One was a portrait (pictured) with her family she devoted her life to. She did not expect to get so much more. Photos courtesy of the Nar family.
Madam Chin Lie Choo, 70, almost didn’t live to see her dying wish come true.
“Doctors gave Mum a Fentanyl patch today,” her daughters Evelyn and Cecilia Nar mentioned in passing on Tuesday night, March 8.
They were on a Zoom call with a team of volunteer wish granters from Ambulance Wish Singapore (AWS). The charity fulfils the last wishes of adults who have less than 12 months to live.
Would Mdm Chin still be lucid enough or alive to enjoy her last wish – a photo shoot with her family?
Alarm bells started ringing for Grace Young, one of the four volunteers. Grace’s own mother had been given Fentanyl, a painkiller for severe pain, in the last few days of her life. She knew time was running out.
(Mdm Chin had been battling breast cancer for 34 years. Just a month earlier in February, the family realised that she was in the last season of her life.)
Would Mdm Chin still be lucid enough or alive to enjoy her last wish – a photo shoot with her family? It was scheduled for Sunday.
“We’ve got to act quickly,” Grace messaged her fellow wish granters.
But how? How would she broach such a sensitive subject with the sisters? And what about the logistics of bringing forward the photo shoot at such short notice?
Silently, Grace prayed.
Then Mdm Chin’s daughters mentioned, “Oh, Mum is getting baptised tomorrow evening.”
Up to that point, neither party knew about each other’s religious backgrounds. It turned out that Mdm Chin’s team of four wish granters were Christians.
Mdm Chin secretly shared the same faith as her eldest child, Evelyn (pictured as a baby). She was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer in 1988 – the year Evelyn was doing her ‘O’ levels. Evelyn, now 50, is an executive assistant.
“Mum was a positive and cheerful person,” said youngest child Cecilia, now 43, who works in financial services. Cecilia has a 13-year-old son.
It was an answer to prayer. Mdm Chin’s family of three generations would be gathered to witness her affirm her faith.
Overnight, the four wish granters from AWS rounded up a videographer and photographer to document the family event. They had only met the videographer – the boss of a production company – only two weeks earlier. The photographer – an award-winning former photojournalist – cleared his schedule to take on the urgent request.
Nothing gave Mdm Chin more joy than bringing up her four grandsons. The youngest one had not yet been born when this photo was taken. The eldest ones are now 13, 20 and 21.
“That must have been our quickest turnaround time, preparing for a wish to be fulfilled,” said Grace.
“Things just fell into place in less than 24 hours. No one could have organised it so perfectly. It was all God, allowing us to do what we did.”
And not a minute too soon. Mdm Chin’s health deteriorated even more overnight.
From grief, a family reunited
Unbeknown to the AWS team, things had started falling into place in February when Mdm Chin was hospitalised in an isolation ward. There, she dreamt that her own mother had passed away.
It was a week later when she had confirmation that her mother had indeed died on the same day of her dream. Mdm Chin’s family did not tell her about it as they were afraid it would aggravate her already poor health.
Mdm Chin (pictured) battled cancer for 34 years. She had four relapses, and each time, the family was told she only had a year to live. “She was a fighter. Oncologists said she had a very strong will,” said eldest daughter, Evelyn.
The proud grandmother with her youngest grandson who was born four years ago.
At the funeral, the Nar family reconnected with Mdm Chin’s siblings. They had not been in contact with each other for a few years.
The reunion with her siblings brought joy to Mdm Chin who only had two weeks left on earth.
“After her siblings came to visit her, Mum was watching TV and singing,” said Cecilia.
Mdm Chin’s youngest sister brought along a friend from church to pray for her.
“Only if my husband agrees”
Mdm Chin, whose voice by then was barely audible, responded.
“We realised that she wanted to rededicate her life to Christ,” said Evelyn.
“When Auntie Shirley (the visitor) asked if she wanted to be baptised, Mum said as long as my Dad agrees, she will go for it,” Evelyn recounted.
It was an answer to a secret desire Mdm Chin had harboured five years ago. “The traditional Chinese woman who deferred to her husband” had not previously dared to bring up the subject. For her husband had insisted that the family follow the faith of their ancestors. He had a “hot temper” said his daugthers.
Mdm Chin was in disbelief when her husband agreed to it.
With husband Nar Siang Wah, son Rayson, and eldest daughter, Evelyn. Mdm Chin was then pregnant with their youngest child, Cecilia.
“Whatever Mum wants,” her husband, a retired trailer driver, 75, had said.
“It was a miracle. She was so happy,” said Cecilia.
Five days before she passed away, Mdm Chin got her wish to be baptised. With her family by her side, she declared her faith and trust in Jesus. Her AWS wish granters sent flowers, durian cakes and mangoes – her favourite things.
Mdm Chin’s baptism was a time of joy with her family joining her in singing her favourite Hokkien worship song, 牽我的手 (Take My Hand). During her last few days on earth, hymns like this comforted her as she slept in the day and tossed and turned at night.
What brought about the softening of his heart?
“All those surrounding Mum and helping Mum in her last days happened to be Christians,” said Evelyn. “I still get goosebumps talking about it.
They included the physiotherapist and social worker from Singapore Cancer Society and volunteers from Ambulance Wish Singapore – both secular organisations serving families of all backgrounds and religions. The family did not have to pay for their services.
“My Dad had seen their heart to serve and their genuineness.
“It changed Dad’s perception of Christians. Dad was very appreciative of all that they were doing for her.”
“好美 (it’s beautiful),” said Mdm Chin when she was presented with the family portrait the day after the shoot – four days before she would pass on.
It wasn’t just his perception that changed.
“He used to be very hot tempered. Now he is very demure, gentle and is the peacemaker. He’s now got Mum’s character,” said Cecilia.
“God was using Mum’s last days. God’s hand was in her last days,” said Evelyn.
Preview of her heavenly home
However, Mdm Chin started having bad dreams of being alone in a street, abandoned. Some people the sisters spoke with believed this was the devil’s attack on her mind.
In one dream, someone was trying to attack her. Then a man in a suit came and fought off the figure.
“She said her heavenly home was very beautiful and very big. And she saw flowers. She loved flowers.”
“She said the man in the suit was Jesus,” said Evelyn.
The next day, Mdm Chin murmured “很美,很美 (beautiful, beautiful)” in her sleep.
When she awoke, Evelyn asked, “Did you see your heavenly home (天家)?”
“Yes,” Mdm Chin replied.
“She said her heavenly home was very beautiful and very big. And she saw flowers. She loved flowers,” said Evelyn.
A tender moment with one of her four wish granters – former national bowler Grace Young, who serves on the board of Ambulance Wish Singapore. Another wish granter was Carol Wee, who started AWS.
Amid the family’s grief of knowing that they would be saying goodbye soon, this dream brought comfort to Mdm Chin and her loved ones.
“She had a peace of mind, knowing where she was going.”
“We knew that she was prepared to go. She had a peace of mind, knowing where she was going,” said Evelyn.
“It was assuring for us to know that God showed her the heavenly house He had prepared for her.”
Through her 34-year battle with cancer, her faith and trust in God helped her to stay positive each time she had a relapse, said Evelyn.
“She quoted Proverbs 3:5-6 and always told me to pray and trust that God’s way is higher than our ways.”
Even though she was leaving this life as she knew it, it looked like things were working out for Mdm Chin.
She had always encouraged her family not to worry and had always told them: “船到桥头自然直”. It means “you will cross the bridge when you get to it; things will fall into place in the end”.
Last hair wash
On Monday, March 14 – two days after seeing her heavenly home – Mdm Chin asked for her hair to be washed.
“She always liked to be neat and clean,” said her daughters.
Then her family changed her into her favourite nightdress and she fell into a deep sleep. Barely 20 minutes later, Cecilia noticed that her mother’s breathing had dropped and called the rest of the family to come to her bedside.
Evelyn holding her mum’s hand. Mdm Chin passed away the day after this photo was taken.
Evelyn called, “Ma”.
“She was trying to smile,” said Evelyn. “My dad noticed it and said, ‘Call again’.”
At her father’s urging, Evelyn called her mother two more times. Each time, her mum responded. Then she stopped breathing and slipped into her heavenly home.
“Our brother saw the miracles in the last days of Mum’s life. And how Mum’s passing was such a peaceful time.”
“Our mum left very peacefully,” she said.
There was one more surprise to come. On the day of Mdm Chin’s funeral, her son, Rayson, 49, invited Christ into his life.
“He saw the miracles in the last days of Mum’s life: The reunion of the family, the change in our dad. And how Mum’s passing and wake was such a peaceful time,” said Cecilia.
“He wants to go where Mum has gone when his turn comes,” said Evelyn.
Support the work of AWS
Since it was set up three years ago, Ambulance Wish Foundation (AWS) has fulfilled the last wishes of 86 terminally ill beneficiaries from different backgrounds and religions.
“The memorable experiences give them and their loved ones hope, relief, closure and peace in what may otherwise be a sad, painful and lonely journey,” said Grace Young, a board member of AWS.
The family is unable to organise these experiences as caregiving – and the prospect of losing a loved one – is overwhelming.
Join AWS in fundraising and raising awareness for their cause. One way is to participate in their virtual cycling challenge, Cycle of Peace 2022.
Register here (from May 15 to June 15, 2022) as an individual or team. Then cycle anytime and anywhere (stationary bikes count too!) between May 28 till July 2, 2022.
Donate or find out more about how else you can support the work of the charity drive or Ambulance Wish Singapore here.
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