In her 39 years, Thai national Naomi (not her real name) has lived through many heartaches.
A child of divorce, her father was absent from her life from the time she was just three years old.
She was desperate for a man to get her out of the trade.
To ease her pain, she turned to drinking and attempted suicide several times.
Today, there is little trace of bitterness in Naomi who currently lives in northern Thailand. She laughs easily as she tells the story of a woman the world threw away … and how she was rescued.
She had always thought that a human man would give her a way out of the oldest trade in the world.
When Naomi was 13, her family moved from a small village to the Thai capital, Bangkok. As she was undocumented, she was unable to continue her education.
So she made a living doing odd jobs. They included selling clothes from a temporary stall on the streets. There, she met a man. She was just 16 when her mother made them marry.
“He would beat me up and there would be a lot of blood.”
“She found out that I had relations with him,” Naomi said in Thai, through an interpreter over Zoom.
Her husband turned out to be abusive.
“He would beat me up and there would be a lot of blood. I had to go to the hospital,” she said.
When she could not endure the violence, Naomi ran away.
Attempting to make a better life for herself, she got an apprenticeship at a hair salon and became a hairdresser.
When she was 17, a friend invited her to a birthday party at a nightclub. That first taste of the glamorous life seemed like a lifeline out of poverty.
“All the girls were dressed like models at a fashion show. During the party, someone gave me a wad of money,” she recalled.
“When I counted it, it came up to 15,000 Baht (S$600). My pay at the hair salon was only 4,500 Baht (S$180) a month. I thought, ‘How nice to dress up nicely and earn so much in just one night.’”
“I thought, ‘How nice to dress up nicely and earn so much in just one night.’”
And so Naomi ended up working in a nightclub.
It started with singing and accompanying clients as they drank.
But soon, Naomi started to drink with her clients. Relationships followed.
“Clients who liked me would ask me not to go onto the stage to sing but to be their girlfriend,” she said.
“These relationships would usually not go beyond three months before they would want a new girl. Then, I would go back to singing and then another man would come along.”
As she flitted from one client to another, she finally met one who seemed to want a long-term relationship.
But when she got pregnant, he started beating her. They were together for three years. When their child was eight months old, she left him.
“These relationships would usually not go beyond three months. Then, another man would come along.”
“But he wouldn’t let me go. I moved from nightclub to nightclub to get away from him. In the end, he found me. I had to give him my son. He was quite aggressive,” she said.
She would later meet the man who would become her second husband. But he was unfaithful and left her pregnant and broke. Naomi sold her jewellery to pay for the hospital bills when she delivered her second son.
Two more relationships would follow. With each, Naomi would leave the nightlife, hoping for a new life but would disappointed and broken. One was abusive, the other unfaithful. After each, she would return to her old line of work.
To ease her pain, she turned to drinking and attempted suicide several times.
She even asked God to give her a good man. None appeared.
“I moved from nightclub to nightclub to get away from him. In the end, he found me.”
Naomi had learnt to pray when she was a schoolgirl.
“I asked God why these men were always unfaithful to me.
“I blamed myself for not having the endurance to last in the relationships.”
By then, Naomi was 34, and had two sons to support. The older one lived with her first husband while her mother raised the younger one.
Naomi was also funding the construction of a house for her mother. So, she took up her cousin’s suggestion and moved to Singapore to earn more money.
Naomi planned to work in Singapore’s red-light district for two years. By then, she hoped, she would have enough money to pay for her mother’s house.
Life in Singapore was no better.
“I was earning a lot more but I was spending a lot more, too. The standard of living was very high. Even a bar of soap was costly,” she said.
“I had only a little bit of money left to send to my mother.”
Then Naomi met some unlikely visitors at the brothel. The unconditional love they showed triggered memories from her childhood days.
When Naomi was three, her parents divorced and her mother relocated the family to southern Thailand to escape from her husband.
Her mother had to work to support Naomi and Naomi’s two older sisters. So, they were left largely to their own devices.
“I liked that I could tell the priest about anything that didn’t make me feel good.”
Right next to their home was a church that would invite the neighbourhood children to visit.
“On Sundays, they would give out food and organise activities for the children. I would go there to sing songs,” recalled Naomi.
She enjoyed the Bible stories, especially the one about the parting of the Red Sea (Exodus 14:1-23).
“In my heart, I knew that the Bible was true,” said Naomi.
Naomi’s mum, who was of another religion, would later send her to a Catholic school. Only because it was within walking distance of their home.
Naomi was often bullied in school. “I had no father and I was poor. The rich kids at school would make fun of me,” she said.
“I had no father and I was poor. The rich kids at school would make fun of me.”
But she enjoyed school and going to mass. She felt better after going to confession.
“I liked that I could tell the priest about anything that didn’t make me feel good.”
In school, Naomi learnt that God loves everyone. She also learnt to pray, and felt that it worked.
Then when her family moved to Bangkok, she didn’t have anyone inviting her to church. So, she picked a random one to visit.
She felt the people there giving her “strange stares”.
“It didn’t feel good. I went once and never returned,” she said.
The God she had come to know in her youth was soon relegated to the background as she was overwhelmed by the burden of making a living.
The people who came to the brothel in Geylang were giving out food and snacks. It reminded her of the church of her childhood that did the same.
She wondered, “What would these people get in return? Why would they give things out for free?”
“Geylang was not a good place. Why would these people come here?”
The people were Debbie Zhang, founder of House of Olive Leaf (HOL), and her team of volunteers.
The non-governmental organisation runs Geylang Ministry (GM). The outreach to the people who work in the red-light district provides aid to the women, and helps the men find jobs.
The team also handed out brochures about Jesus’ love. Though outwardly nonchalant, Naomi started reading them.
Naomi was excited when Debbie started talking to the girls about God. And Naomi shared her contact number with Debbie even though the other girls had warned her not to.
“Geylang was not a good place. Why would these people come here?” Naomi wondered. She wanted to get to know these people.
In her life, she had never met people who did things for her without expecting something in return.
“She had never met people who did things for her without expecting anything in return..”
“On my days off, they would take me to Sentosa, Universal Studios, Gardens by the Bay. When I was not well, they showed me genuine concern,” she said.
On Naomi’s birthday, the volunteers surprised her with a cake they had baked just for her.
“I know everything in Singapore is very expensive. Yet, they still gave me a very big cake. It was a miracle that someone would spend so much and show so much love for me.
“These people were like angels sent by God,” she surmised.
“All other people I had met were good to me in the beginning. But then, they would end up taking advantage of me.
“I could see that these people were different. I wanted to be like them.”
“It was a miracle that someone would spend so much and show so much love for me,” said Naomi of the GM team who surprised her with a cake on her birthday.
“Then, Debbie told me something that really touched me: That I could start anew, I could start afresh,” Naomi recounted.
That had been Naomi’s secret desire.
“Then, Debbie told me something that really touched me: That I could start anew, I could start afresh.”
Over the years, Naomi had been desperate for a man to get her out of the trade. But Debbie showed her only God could help her get out for good.
“She told me that no matter how sinful I am, God would still forgive me,” said Naomi.
“That is the love of God. And that God is with me wherever I am, even if I go back to Thailand,” she said.
On her days off, Naomi started studying the Bible with the volunteers, seeking to return to the faith she found during her childhood.
She thought to herself, “Since God is so good, helping me all along, why can’t I change for the better?”
But the idea of leaving her job and returning to Thailand with no means of income frightened her.
Two days before Christmas in 2018, the volunteers brought Naomi to a Christmas event at a church.
There, Naomi “suddenly lost all interest in working in the red-light district”.
The next day, on Christmas Eve, the brothel was packed. Naomi had 21 customers that night.
“A lot of people like me,” Naomi explained. “Many customers were looking for me but I was not happy at all. I was very tired. I didn’t want to do this anymore.”
It was then that she remembered the song she heard at the Christmas gathering. The lyrics – “If God is with us, who can be against us” – had moved her.
A strange peace came upon her and she resolved to turn her back on her life in the brothel and return to Thailand. GM raised the funds to pay for her airfare home.
Then clients who fancied her tried to dissuade her from leaving. The date of her departure was postponed.
But 17 months after Naomi first stepped foot in Singapore, she left to start a new life in Thailand.
Back in the country of her birth and away from the love and encouragement of Debbie and the volunteers, Naomi began to flounder.
Her mother had not used the money she had sent to pay for the land and the construction of her house.
“She said the money I had sent was for her own upkeep and for her helping to raise my younger son.”
“I wanted to follow God but I had all these practical issues. I had to raise my children and settle my mother’s land issue.”
They quarrelled and Naomi turned to drinking yet again to dull the pain.
Her hope of becoming a nurse was dashed as she did not have documentation to prove that she had studied up to Secondary Two.
So, she started taking massage lessons, with the aim of going to South Korea to be a masseur. Never mind that she knew that it would be a slippery slope back to her old life.
“I wanted to follow God but I had all these practical issues,” she said. “I had to raise my children and settle my mother’s land issue.”
To give her an alternative way out, GM enrolled Naomi at a Bible school in Thailand. They paid her school fees and gave her a monthly allowance. They hoped that the five-month stay-in programme would help deepen Naomi’s faith.
Debbie continued to encourage her via text messages and online.
Naomi (with cap) doing Bible study with the volunteers of GM when they went to visit her in 2019.
When Naomi graduated from Bible school, Debbie helped her get an internship at a local church and continued to support her financially. They hoped that being in a community of faith would keep Naomi away from her old trade.
Naomi is now settled nicely in the church.
GM is helping her to work towards paying off the S$10,000 for her mother’s house and its land over the next year.
Naomi sees God’s hand so clearly in these tremendous acts of kindness.
“God has been very good. He has provided for all my needs,” she said. “I know God is with me all the time.”
Naomi no longer goes to places that may tempt her back into her old trade.
“My old friends have all left me,” she said. “It’s another world altogether.
Baking and selling cakes for a small living: When Covid-19 hit Thailand and jobs were hard to come by, GM paid for baking equipment and taught Naomi via online videos how to make cakes.
“I know God is charting my path ahead,” she said.
In her daily phone calls with her mother who lives in another part of Thailand, Naomi never fails to share the goodness of God. She also talks about the kindness of Debbie and the volunteers who helped turn her life around.
Once concerned with only praying over her own problems, Naomi has started praying for her family as well.
“I pray for our relationship to be better. I ask God for more love and concern for them,” she said.
“I can see my relationship with my eldest sister – which used to be very bad – improving.”
This is an excerpt of an article that first appeared in Salt&Light.
Click here to join our Telegram family for more stories like Naomi’s.
Trapped in a string of unhealthy and abusive relationships, I finally broke free
