When she was 13, Jackie Ong’s father told her that he could no longer afford her school fees.
A bookie and a gambler, he never brought back much to support the family. They depended on the meagre income that Jackie’s paternal grandmother earned. Fights between her parents were common.
To earn her own keep, Jackie started running errands for Ah Longs (loan sharks). She quickly fell into bad company.
By 17, she was taking drugs and needed a fix every four hours.
The open palm
One day, just as she was emerging from a drug induced stupor, “that hand appeared again”.
That hand, an open palm, had appeared at various points her life since she was 5 years old.
“Every time I cry, the hand would reach out and comfort me,” Jackie recalls. Sometimes it appeared as a vision. Sometimes accompanied by a voice.
Growing up in a family who worshipped idols, Jackie did not understand the vision. All she knew was, this hand was open, inviting and always brought her comfort.
Jackie (right) started working in the nightlife industry when was 17.
It had been a while since she last saw that hand. But it helped her realise her folly.
Through sheer willpower, the teenager weaned herself off drugs. She threw all her energy into work, often holding down multiple jobs at a time.
She thought, money – lots of it – could change her life.
Show me the money
By 21, Jackie had saved more than $80,000 which she used to start her first nightclub in Little India. A year later, she opened her second.
Within six years, Jackie owned a chain of nightclubs with 200 staff on her payroll. She also owned two private properties and a couple of BMWs – all fully paid for.
Jackie (front row, third from right) with her staff at one of her nightclubs. At one point, she owned several nightclubs and had over 200 staff on her payroll.
By the age of 27, Jackie was twice divorced. She was a single mother who had to raise two young sons, and support her parents and grandmother.
To escape from the daily pressures of life, Jackie would often drive to Tanjong Rhu. By the river, she would sit in her car, smoking and drinking in solitude.
One night, Jackie saw the hand again. This time, she also heard: “I am your God. Will you trust Me?”
Nothing to lose if God isn’t real
That weekend, with her two young sons in tow, Jackie went to church.
Despite not understanding the sermon, Jackie kept going back.
It was months before she began to understand God’s love for her. But she was haunted by childhood memories of her grandmother splurging on offerings to idols to no avail.
“Drinking, smoking, wrong relationships and nightlife business – I realised, not right.”
She found it hard to acknowledge God. “Because I scared. What if I trust the wrong god?”
A year later, at age 30, Jackie accepted Jesus. By then, she figured that if God wasn’t real, she had nothing to lose.
“Amazingly, I started to feel that I didn’t want my kind of life any more: Drinking, smoking, being in the wrong relationships and doing this nightlife business,” she said.
“I realised, not right.”
Leaving the nightlife
One night, in one of her clubs, Jackie heard the voice again. This time He prompted her to leave the business. And to enrol in Bible school.
“In my heart, I knew what I was doing was wrong. But I only knew how to run nightclubs, what else can I do?”
It was a huge struggle. She had six mouths to feed. Quitting her business meant ending her family’s only source of income.
Jackie with her sons. They are now 22 and 17.
“Wow, the money was so difficult to let go,” Jackie exclaims. “And God didn’t tell me: ‘Let go of this, I’ll give you another mountain.’
“No leh, nothing!”
She described it “like tearing my brain and heart apart”.
She gritted her teeth. She exited her business. Sold off her properties and cars. Then moved her family into an HDB flat.
In 2010, she enrolled with Youth With A Mission’s (YWAM) Discipleship Training School (DTS).
“God was there since young. But, I didn’t know it was Him because I didn’t know who He is.”
At YWAM, Jackie got the shock of her life.
The picture of the hand printed on the banner at the school matched the hand she had been seeing all her life.
It confirmed to her: “God was there since young.”
Jackie (front row, far left) with the YWAM DTS of 2010. The photo of the hand on the banner was exactly the image she had been seeing since age 5.
“But, I didn’t know it was Him because I didn’t know who He is. I thought it was just my imagination!” she said.
Previously, she used to think: “When difficult times come, there is no one to turn to.
“I used to think it was a mistake for me to be on earth.”
But she now realised that was not true. “God has never given up on me.”
Discovering her design
In her third year at YWAM, a leader approached Jackie about her plans to return to the workplace.
She was at a loss – the nightlife industry was the only place she was familiar with. Where could she go?
She started looking through the classified ads. A job posting for a sales designer at an interior design firm caught her eye. Despite not knowing anything about the industry, Jackie felt God say: “Just go.”
Jackie went. She aced the interview.
“Every time I cry, the hand would reach out and comfort me.”
It was a steep learning curve.
She read architecture magazines. Observed colleagues. Squatted in cramped toilets watching her contractor lay tiles. Jackie soaked in as much knowledge as she could.
She discovered she had a gift for scheduling and managing projects.
“In my clubs, I handled over 200 staff. So to me, this is easy.”
Jackie (middle) with some of her team from OakThree Studios.
Jackie excelled at work.
Then she was jolted out of her sleep and awoke to a vision.
“I saw Jesus at the well!” she said.
“There was a queue waiting to draw water from a well … Those who had already taken, kept coming back for more.
“I was upset,” she admitted. “They can take what they need. Why be greedy and take away someone else’s portion?
“But Jesus said to me, ‘Let them come. I am the One who will provide.’”
She also heard Him tell her, “I will provide through you.”
“If God did not poke me, I wouldn’t have moved.”
“I cried and cried.”
Jackie explains: “Over the years, I always had to provide for so many – my kids, my parents, even my grandmother. Why always me? I am tired.”
Jackie, who had to fend for herself since a teen, found it difficult to depend on her Heavenly Father to provide.
Her own earthly dad had never provided for her.
“Our roles were reversed,” she said.
“Why always me?”
Not long after, she was awakened in the night once more. This time, the Lord told her to set up her own interior design firm.
“I cried a long time,” Jackie admits sheepishly.
“Over the years, I always had to provide for so many – my kids, my parents, even my grandmother. Why always me? I am tired.”
She knew how hard it would be to step out of her comfort zone.
“Everyone said I was very bold. But no! If God did not poke me, I wouldn’t have moved.
“Because it is not always about you, it is about how others can draw from Him also.”
So in April 2013, Jackie started Oakthree Studios which offers interior design and contracting services with a team of nine office staff and 50 workmen.
Since then, she has had ample opportunity to upgrade her life again. But she chooses instead to support the ministries that nurtured her. And to ensure that her staff are well taken care of.
Even in dealing with difficult clients, Jackie endeavours to be a blessing. Because she knows that God wants her to.
This is an excerpt of an article that first appeared in Salt&Light.
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