She battled abuse and crippling self-doubt, but newfound confidence put her on TV in “I Can See Your Voice”
By
Nicolette Lim and Gemma Koh
, 18 March 2025
"It was a childhood dream I had completely buried," said Amanda Victrine King, of the opportunity to appear in Mediacorp's adaptation of the global hit mystery singer game show. Screenshot (right) from I Can See Your Voice.
Trigger warning: Suicidal ideation, domestic violence and verbal abuse.
Amanda Victrine King was six years old, standing before a video camera and microphone in her bedroom, a songbook in hand.
Her audience of dolls were lined up neatly, and she sang so loudly, the entire block could hear her.
Young Amanda with a member of her first audience. All photos courtesy of Amanda Victrine King unless otherwise stated.
Music was more than just fun – it was an escape to a world of her own where everything felt calm and safe. It was a stark contrast to the chaos she experienced at home.
“My dad bought a video camera and microphone to give me the attention that he couldn’t give me,” said Amanda.
But along the way, she stopped singing even in her bedroom when she began to believe people and her inner critic who told her she “was not good enough”.
Earlier this year, Amanda, now 37, appeared on I Can See Your Voice, MediaCorp’s adaptation of the global hit mystery singer game show that originated in South Korea. In the show, she introduced herself as an administrative executive in an engineering company – and a worship leader at church.
Amanda (third from left) with fellow mystery singers on the game show. “Detectives” included Gurmit Singh and Najip Ali, who helped celebrity contestants Gao Mei Gui and Zhu Zeliang pick out the real singers in the group. Screenshot from I Can See Your Voice Singapore.
A different story at home
Amanda grew up in a home that looked godly on the outside.
“My mum made sure we went to church every Sunday, and made sure we prayed,” Amanda recalls.
“My father read the Bible daily. But he also physically abused my mum.”
She struggled to reconcile the disparity. “How come every Sunday, we had to look like the perfect family in church, but at home, it was a whole different story?”
Amanda and her mum whom she called her “rock”.
Her parents had her late in life. Her mother was 43, her father was 52 – and people often mistook him for her grandfather.
Amanda was born with hemiplegia – a form of mild cerebral palsy. “I looked a bit chak chak (Asian slang for messy). I went for physiotherapy at age five.” Over the years, she says she experienced healing – both physically and emotionally.
Childhood was lonely. Her much older siblings were often absent, her parents constantly fought with each other. They also suffered frail health. At school, Amanda was bullied.
When she was 16, her mother – whom she called her rock – was diagnosed with terminal cancer and had only months to live.
“One day, I went to a nearby church and begged God to save her. When I returned to the hospital, the doctors said they couldn’t resuscitate her.
“I begged God to save Mum. When I returned, the doctors said they couldn’t resuscitate her.”
“I sat outside the hospital room and used really bad words on God. I told Him I didn’t believe in Him anymore.”
She was also angry with her mother.
“She was the only one I could depend on, and I felt completely alone. I had nobody.”
So great was Amanda’s grief, she “almost fell six feet under when they were burying Mum”.
“I still cry over her. Grief is an ongoing journey.”
Seen and heard
In the aftermath of her mum’s passing, Amanda spiralled deeper into the depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts she had been battling since the age of five.
“I thought I was going to have a heart attack and was going to die. My father was taking me to A&E almost every other day,” she recalled.
“I also told myself, ‘I’m going to die by the time I turn 18.’”
But at 18, something shifted.
“I also told myself, ‘I’m going to die by the time I turn 18.’” But at 18, something shifted.
A relative had persistently invited her to church. One day, she finally said yes.
“The worship music deeply moved me. Then the pastor read a verse: ‘A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.’ (Psalm 91:7)
“Then he said, ‘Imagine you’re somewhere crowded – like in Orchard Road – and you feel invisible. But God sees you. You’re special. You’re not overlooked.’
“My heart was moved that day. That was the beginning of my relationship with God.”
Hearing the real voice
For much of her life, Amanda wrestled with a persistent inner critic – echoes of taunts and put-downs she’d heard growing up, and from prominent figures in her life, even as a young adult.
“You’re not good enough.”
“You’ll never make it on your own.”
“You suck.”
At one point, she even stopped singing in her own room. “I believed I was terrible. That I had nothing to offer.”
As “a dark-skinned girl growing up in Singapore”, Amanda (left, pictured with a friend) often felt invisible – not pretty enough.
Amanda’s father’s health and mental state declined after his wife’s death, his anger turned towards her.
“I hated him even more than before,” she said.
Then one day, after yet another argument, Amanda heard something unexpected.
“I heard a voice say, ‘I am your Father, and I love you.’
“I believe that was the first time I heard the voice of God,” Amanda said.
Amanda (left) with a long-time friend – one of many encouragers God has put in her life.
That was a turning point – a powerful contrast to the years of self-doubt she’d carried. Slowly, she began learning to tell the difference between the destructive internal dialogue and a new, life-giving voice that affirmed her worth.
“As I came to know Christ, He reminded me that my beauty is in Him. My gifts and talents are given by Him.”
It didn’t mean her struggles disappeared overnight – but it gave her tools to navigate dark moments.
“If I can’t snap myself out of a downward spiral, I’ll turn on a worship song, a prayer or a sermon,” she says.
“Often, something that speaks into my situation just shows up in my social media feed. Or a friend will text me out of nowhere. Those things help me recalibrate – and get back into God’s presence.”
Tears speak when words can’t
Even after becoming a Christian, Amanda wrestled on and off with anxiety and depression.
“I once asked God, ‘Can I just walk into traffic and die?’
But she sensed God replying: “If you do, you’ll be paralysed. Do you want to live like that?”
That jolted her.
“It was the first time I realised God was telling me to choose life. He kept reminding me, ‘Why do you keep saying you want to die, when I am working in your life?'”
Eventually, Amanda sensed God telling her it was time to see her dad and forgive him – something she couldn’t imagine doing.
Amanda cried and cried to God until she was able to pray for father, and over time, it became easier.
When she was 21, she started living apart from her father, and only saw him a handful of times after that. Even during those times, they barely spoke. Amanda even had her surname changed legally to “King” as a sign of “cutting him out of my life”.
“I sensed God telling me, ‘The first step is to pray for him.’ But I couldn’t even do that; I was too angry with him. I’d cry instead.
“But God reminded me, ‘If you cannot speak, just cry in prayer.’
“So I cried and cried and cried. Eventually, I could pray for him, and over time, it became easier.”
Reunited after 15 years
At the end of 2023, Amanda finally visited her father – now in a nursing home.
It had been 15 years since they really spoke.
It was her father’s 88th birthday when they reconciled.
“As he had dementia I was told he wouldn’t recognise me. But when he saw me, he called me by my childhood name and added, ‘You are my daughter.’ He even sang hymns with me. It was amazing.
“He also asked me over and over, ‘What have I done wrong?’
“Each time I would tell him, ‘You are forgiven, and God loves you.’
Amanda and her godmother, who accompanied her to see her father.
“I even told God that I was sorry that I had once prayed for my dad to die.
“God gave him a long life so we could be reconciled. It was his 88th birthday when it happened.”
Unlocking doors
That moment of forgiveness unlocked something deep in Amanda.
“After I forgave my dad, a lot started to change. I grew; I became less angry. Now I am calmer. If someone says something that hurts me, I leave it at the feet of Jesus. I can forgive easily and move forward.”
More doors opened: A promotion at work – and the chance to appear in I Can See Your Voice Singapore.
It wasn’t planned. Amanda had fallen face-first on a busy road. Miraculously, no cars were around at that time.
“After I forgave my dad, doors opened – a promotion, and the chance to appear in I Can See Your Voice.”
She was given medical leave, and during that time, came across an audition call for the show.
Her inner critic returned. “You won’t make it. You’ll be a nervous wreck like the last time.” (She had previously frozen up during auditions for Singapore Idol and The Final One).
But she thought: “I almost died today, but I am still here. So why not?”
So with a bandaged face and a raw, self-recorded video, she submitted a song she had written.
“I got a shocked when they called me in for an actual audition.”
She was even more shocked when she was selected to appear in one of the episodes.
“The casting director was so welcoming, I felt so calm. The other difference from previous auditions? I knew how far I had come with God’s help.”
In early 2025, Amanda appeared on I Can See Your Voice Singapore as the mystery singer “Soul Sister”, “looking like Diana Ross wearing Tina Turner’s dress”.
It was a childhood dream come true, one “that I had completely buried.”
“I had always wanted to sing on stage since I was a little girl.
“It was one of the little things that God remembers that I loved as a child – and has given it to me.”
Confidence in her own voice
Once, Amanda was told: “You’ll never make it on your own.”
But she heard God tell her: “Yes, you will never make it on your own – but you will make it because of Me.”
Amanda is now a worship leader in church.
Amanda (middle) had opportunities to sing with a band.
A band mate introduced Amanda to the church where she’s been singing on the worship team since 2010, and is now a worship leader.
She also authored Retrace: Stell’s Journey (2020), inspired by her mother’s life that explores themes of healing and the love of a father.
“Because of rejections and insecurities, I never wanted to go out and speak to people. So I wrote the book,” she said.
“Now people – even Christians – say I talk too much about God. I tell them: He’s all I have. You have family, support, wealth. I just have Him. And He’s more than enough.”
Her story isn’t one of instant transformation, but one of daily choices.
“I still struggle. I still hear voices telling me I’m not enough. But now, I choose God’s voice instead. That’s what gives me God-fidence.”
“Everything I do now – whether it’s my singing, writing or working – is an opportunity to show God’s love.”
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