She’s a 66-year-old fashion model … who was once “a caged bird with no voice”
By
Gemma Koh
, 30 June 2022
Ong Bee Yan once thought of herself as “a nothing, a nobody” after years of abuse. How did she transform into a confident, elegant swan in her 60s? Photo by @keilo_photography via @grey_evolution Instagram.
When Ong Bee Yan decided to stop dyeing her hair at age 63, she never expected her silver-blue locks to catch the eye of fashion editors and clothing brands.
The grandmother of two, now 66, ended up landing on the cover of a top fashion magazine.
Unknown to most, under her makeup and glamorous images are cigarette burn marks on her face, often mistaken for pigmentation.
Yan as the cover girl of the April 2021 issue of Harpers Bazaar Singapore. Photo from @harpersbazaarsg Instagram.
How did Yan, who once thought of herself as “a nothing, a nobody with low self-esteem”, transform into a confident, elegant swan in front of the camera?
How did a woman who once feared the sound of an abuser’s footsteps grow to become a resourceful serial entrepreneur who most recently started a cold brew coffee business?
Behind the scenes at a photo shoot for a resortwear brand. Photo from @marthawho_ Instagram.
How did she change from someone who saw no point in speaking into a social media influencer who encourages older seniors to step out of their comfort zone?
Smacked by a slipper
Growing up, Yan and her cousins were mostly looked after by their grandmother.
Yan’s parents were hospital attendants. She and her older siblings could only stay with them on their days off.
Her aunties favoured her cousins, whom she described as “so, so beautiful”.
The teenage Yan, who never thought of herself as a beauty. Photo courtesy of Ong Bee Yan.
“I was never anyone’s favourite,” she shared. “That made me feel very left out, that I was not loved.”
Once, when Yan received a rare red mark in primary school, an aunt used a slipper to smack her.
This rubbed salt into her already wounded view of herself.
“Why didn’t my cousins get the same treatment?” she wondered.
Her boldest move
Later on, with someone else in her life, small arguments or being late would land her bruises (which she explained away as clumsiness) and at least one hospital visit. She was also humiliated.
Over time, the once jovial and fun-loving Yan became quiet and withdrawn.
“You couldn’t get a word out of me,” she said. “Because whatever I said was wrong. So I told myself, ‘What is the point of talking?’ I was so fearful that I kept to myself and was very timid.
Yan is now a far cry from her younger days. “I feel empowered with this beautiful red-on-red outfit,” she wrote on her Instagram account. Screenshot from video by @_darylxtan_ from @hellogroupsg via @grey_evolution Instagram.
“I also had low self-esteem and thought, ‘I am not beautiful. I am nothing, a nobody, a shell’.
“I would go to the toilet, hide in the corner and cry, cry and cry.”
After more than a decade of abuse, “I just walked out without turning back. It was the boldest move I’d made.”
But one day, after more than a decade of physical, mental and emotional abuse, “I just walked out without turning back. It was the boldest move I’d made,” said Yan.
“‘My goodness, what did you just do?'” she recalled asking herself afterwards. “That was unbelievable because I’d always lived in fear of this person.
“I never knew I had that strength, honestly. I felt like a caged bird that had been set free. It was a wonderful feeling.
“How did I manage to leave? I wouldn’t have been able to do it on my own,” she admitted.
Healing process
Inspired by her daughter, Yan decided to go back to church.
She realised, “God has not left me all this while” even though she had drifted away from her faith.
Over breakfast on her swing, Yan spends quiet time with God – as seen in this shoot with a loungewear and bedding company that asked to feature her daily routine. Photo from @sojaoshop Instagram.
Through getting to know God’s Word, Yan was able to forgive the person who had hurt her.
And in the process, she also started to heal.
God also brought people into Yan’s life who would journey with her.
Among the first was Richard Koh, now 60, whom she met at a dance class.
“Due to the years of abuse, I became a very hard person and got angry at the slightest thing. Not trusting at all,” she said.
Richard won Yan over with his patience and thoughtfulness. Photo from @grayestudio Instagram – the first clothing brand that approached Yan to model.
“But he won me over with his patience and his thoughtfulness,” she shared. “He helped me find my old self back.”
“It took me a long time – almost a decade – to be myself again.
“Richard’s been with me through thick and thin,” she said of her husband of more than 20 years.
Brewing blessings
After Richard was retrenched for the second time, the couple started to make artisanal cold brew coffees in 2016. It eventually grew into a business, 1degreeC.
“We created our own cold brew coffee and cold tea flavours,” explained Yan.
“If you ask me how I managed to come up with these recipes, I would say God was the one helping me all along. Our competence comes from Him.”
How did the tiniest booth in a corner of a big coffee fair attract a queue that put them on coffee lovers’ radars? Yan says it is God’s hand. Photo courtesy of Ong Bee Yan.
The couple also saw how God brought them the right people with the skills they needed to help their business grow, even during Covid.
“We just needed to have faith the size of a mustard seed,” said Yan.
Richard and Yan have since sold their majority shares in the business to a new partner.
Grey evolution
Yan’s coffee business also opened doors to her surprise career as a model.
Her silver locks caught a boutique owner’s attention at a fair 1degreeC was taking part in.
She approached Yan and Richard, asking if they’d like to model a range of clothes.
Without hesitation, Yan agreed. Previously camera-shy, Yan thought to herself, “Why not? I’m 63, what’s the big deal? Ugly, ugly lor!”
She also reasoned that if a stranger could have so much faith in her, there was no reason for her to doubt herself.
“I’m 63, what’s the big deal? Ugly, ugly lor!”
That initial modelling shoot was the first of many to come. Photographers and other brands began to request for Yan.
“I grew by learning on the job – from saying ‘yes’ to modelling offers that came my way.”
Yan gives half of her modelling income to animal rescue charities and Christian missions that she feels God wishes her to support.
In several interviews she’s given to the media, Yan says that the key to her success is praying before every assignment.
“I thank God for giving me this assignment, and ask Him to help me do my best.”
Insta-gran influencer
In 2020, when Yan was 64 years young, the grandmother of two started her Instagram account, @grey_evolution.
She posts about her modelling gigs, her pet causes, and time spent with family.
Yan uses her Instagram account to inspire and challenge other seniors to step out of their comfort zone.
She sees her Instagram account as a God-given opportunity to motivate others around her age.
“I want to encourage seniors to get out of their comfort zones. To tell them to challenge themselves, face their fears,” she said.
Yan doing a four-minute plank. She began exercising at age 45, starting with walks, graduating on to strength and weight training twice a week. Screenshot from @grey_evolution Instagram.
It’s her way of doing her part to “share God’s love with others”.
Staying confident
Once, Yan used to dye her hair to disguise her age.
These days, however, things are very different.
“When I stopped trying to hide my age behind hair dye, I felt liberated, confident,” Yan revealed. “It was very empowering.”
When asked if her fame brought her confidence, Yan protested: “I’m not famous! No, no, no, please, no.
“I’m just God’s child.”
She added: “My confidence comes from knowing that, with God’s help, I can do much more than I alone am capable of.
“He is the One who gives me the chance to go out there to challenge myself and face my fears – and to be able to share that with others.
“I am backed by His power, His strength behind and around me,” said Yan.
“That’s where my confidence truly comes from.”
This is an excerpt of an article that first appeared in Salt&Light.
Ong Bee Yan was one of 25 individuals aged above 65 who appeared in a charity film and free ebook, Silver Stories, by St Luke’s Hospital. It is part of the advocacy work of the hospital, which celebrates its early roots in serving the elderly.
Post a silver-haired selfie
Celebrate positive aging and help fundraise for patients of St Luke’s Hospital by posting a silver-haired selfie on Facebook or Instagram. From July 1-31, 2022, corporate donors will make a contribution for every such post, hashtag (#GoSilverSG) and like. Find out how to here.
