“My father took out his gun and pointed it at me”: Former foreign domestic worker’s path to finding love in Singapore

When she was 18, Faith decided to leave her dysfunctional family in the Philippines. She came to Singapore to work as a foreign domestic helper.

Little did she imagine that her rollercoaster ride would lead her to becoming a church leader, and marrying a Singaporean man. Today, Faith, 50, works as a helper in a church kindergarten.

This is Faith’s story in her own words.

My father took out his gun and pointed it right at me.

He found out that I had applied to work in Singapore as a foreign domestic worker (FDW) and didn’t want to let me leave the Philippines. We fought.

I was 18, and wanted to financially support my younger five siblings; I could not accept that they were suffering due to my parents’ neglect. And I also wanted to get as far away from home as possible. 

My grandmother was our only pillar of support. Both my parents were alcoholics, and my mother was also a gambler. 

Faith’s relationship with her father (pictured) and mother today is a testimony that nothing impossible.

I grew up with so much trauma, fear, anger and frustration. 

Like a daughter

My first employer in Singapore was a family from another country. I experienced verbal and physical abuse, working long hours with very little rest.

I was beaten over the head. A Filipino neighbour saw me covered in blood and called the police. They took me to the hospital, then to the Philippines embassy.

There, I met my second employers who had arrived in Singapore to work that day. 

“My second employers treated me like their daughter. I had never known the love of parents before this.”

I was surprised when they told me that they wanted to employ me because my previous employer had wanted to send me back to the Philippines.

My second employers treated me like their daughter, like their child. I had never known the love of parents before this.

They encouraged me to upgrade myself in whatever way I could, sending me for various courses. I did many, including book keeping and cooking. I also trained as a nursing aide. (I later worked briefly in nursing before my first child was born).

My employers also asked me why I had no boyfriend and encouraged me to find someone to marry. They later asked to meet my Singaporean boyfriend (now husband) when we were getting serious.

After seven years, they were posted to another country. Before they left, they made sure I was cared for, that my life was okay, and that I was prepared for my wedding.

At that time, I only had a work permit. They wrote to the Ministry of Manpower so that I could get married and stay in Singapore. 

Crazy in love?

I prayed to God to help me find a husband, even though I wasn’t a Christian at that time. I wanted someone 10 years older than me.

When I met the man who would become my husband, I thought he was older. But he was only one year older than me. He owns a construction company.

Faith and her Singaporean boyfriend tied the knot in 2005.

Later on, when sharing that my employers and I used to live in another part of Singapore, he realised that he had seen me four years before.

I was trying to catch a dog that was running across the road. He was driving and thought: “Crazy girl. Want to die.” He honked.

Then, I had thought: “Crazy man. Why honk so loudly?”

I also realised that I had seen him around my former neighbourhood and told him: “Oh! That means that man every morning sending workers to work – is that you?”

Learning to trust

After we were married, my parents-in-law were very good to me. I felt their love.

But my marriage was full of ups and downs. I was always jealous and insecure. It resulted in several quarrels. I even wanted to end my life.

Around this time, a friend consoled me with the verse: ‘“I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you call on me, and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.”’ (Jeremiah 29:11)

My life was messy. I was searching for happiness. I doubted the love of my husband. It was never enough. I had many negative thoughts.

“When I look back on my life before Jesus, it was full of struggles and worries.”

One day, I bumped into someone who lived in my block. She was also a Filipina married to a Singaporean. She attended Bethesda (Bedok Tampines) Church (BBTC).

She shared: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6,)

She taught me how to read the Bible and encouraged me to attend church.

Slowly I began to understand what God was trying to tell me. The Bible verse 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 encouraged me to pray without ceasing. I learned that nothing is impossible with God and that He is a faithful God.

Faith and her Singaporean husband.

In 2011, when I was pregnant with my youngest child, I became a Christian. 

In Christ, I found the love I had always been longing for.

I was able to forgive myself and my husband.

Out with the old

The path of knowing the difference between the Old Me and the New Me became apparent as I grew in Jesus.

“The fruit of the Holy Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23) became real to me.

When I look back on my life before Jesus, it was full of struggles and worries.

“Outside I may have looked good. But inside, I was in broken pieces, full of rubbish. Words coming out from my mouth were full of hurts and complaints,” says Faith, of her life before Jesus.

I felt I was in a hopeless situations. I had no peace. I felt miserable every day and most of the night. I couldn’t sleep.

Outside I may have looked good. But inside, I was in broken pieces, full of rubbish. Words coming out from my mouth were full of hurts and complaints.

Jesus came knocking at the door of my broken heart as I needed peace and help. I made Him my Saviour and Lord over my life and over my family. Jesus restored me and is transforming my life.

“Almost there”

I prayed to God: “Once you touch me, can you change me? I can’t change my husband, but you change me.”

Slowly, we stopped fighting. My husband and I became more loving toward one another.

I learnt to be a more understanding, more patient and more caring wife to my husband and mother to our three children.

The Lord also answered a prayer for my youngest son. It was difficult to handle him when he was young because he was very active. His school and many people advised me to bring him to test for ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).

Faith and her family over Chinese New Year. Her daughter is now 15, and her sons 14 and 11; they are active in serving at church.

But I ignored their advice and continued to pray and trust God. The children’s leaders at church also prayed for him. Jesus is the best physician. My son changed so much.

He was now healed and he’s a good student.

My husband is now also more open to the faith. I go to church earlier as I serve there, and he gets the children ready and brings them there. He allows us to pray for him.

“The Lord restored my marriage, and He is now using me to be His voice in my extended family.”

The children also encourage him. My son asked him: “Daddy, do you believe in Jesus?”

He replied: “Almost there.”

My son said: “Daddy, you must believe now. Why almost there?”

The Lord restored my marriage, and He is now using me to be His voice in my extended family. He is giving me wisdom and strength to love and serve them, to show the love of Christ.

My in-laws come to the Hokkien service where I serve in worship. When I practise the songs, I ask my mother-in-law what the Hokkien words mean.

I know that in God’s perfect timing, my husband and his parents will come to know Him.

As I wait for this day, I continue to praise God and rest in His strength. I proclaim Joshua 24:15 over my family: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

The natural becomes supernatural

When I was working for my first employer, I realised that no matter how bad my parents were, they are still my parents. I wrote to them and asked them to forgive me. But it was only lip service at that time.

It was only after I received Christ and found His peace and love that I was healed and able to truly forgive and forget.

Many in Faith’s “kampong” in Iloilo have come to Christ. Faith’s parents are in the top right corner.

I learned to pray for my parents. I prayed that they would come to know Christ. I shared with them how God loved me.

When I sought God first and put Him first as my priority in life … the natural become supernatural.

My father was riding a motorbike when he fainted. He went into a coma. I cried and prayed to the Lord to give my father a chance, and he woke up after three days.

After his discharge, my father started reading the Bible. He started attending church fellowship and was subsequently baptised. My parents and my siblings now actively serve the Lord and lead a church in my home province. They are constantly sharing Jesus with their neighbours.

“Prayer is key for the family”, said Faith, on her parents’ (pictured) transformation.

Now my parents are a living testimony that nothing impossible. Only God can turn a mess into a message, a test into a testimony.

When we put God first, all things will fall into its proper place.

This story first appeared in Salt&Light.

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