TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains details of a murder and suicide attempt that some may find distressing.
August 13, 1983. Evelyn Lee and her husband Georgie found her younger brother, Bernard Low, lying face up in the driveway of their friend’s unoccupied home when they went to meet him.
He was still alive but unresponsive.
A deranged stranger had stabbed Bernard 13 times in the back.
Bernard, a realtor, had been preparing to rent out the property. It would later come to light that a deranged stranger had stabbed Bernard 13 times in the back.
Bernard died in the ambulance rushing him to hospital. He was just 27 years old, at the prime of his life.
Evelyn was distraught. How would she tell their parents that their precious only son – conceived after a string of 12 daughters – had been killed? Would they survive the shock?
Bernard (right) and his parents.
Evelyn, now a relator, with her husband Georgie, who formerly worked in journalism and finance. Photo by Gemma Koh.
Evelyn, who is now in her 60s, shares her family’s story of unspeakable grief and pain … but also the divine comfort that came out of her brother’s death.
“My father came from China to Singapore to find work. He was a coolie, carrying heavy sacks of rice,” said Evelyn.
Their mother joined him later in Singapore, where they married.
“They believed that they must have a son to continue the family name and line of ancestor worship.”
Mr and Mrs Low Kee Yong, who were then young and poor, tried every year for a son.
Mr Low Kee Yong started life in Singapore as coolie, but “through his honesty, trustworthiness and God’s grace”, would become a partner at a successful company that dealt with animal feed, said Evelyn.
“After getting six daughters in a row, my father confided in my eldest sister. He told her, ‘Whenever your mum gives birth, all the neighbours laugh at us because they know it’s going to be another daughter’.
“You can see how fervent they were to have a son,” said Evelyn.
Half a son
One day, two visitors came to visit Mr Low.
“My mum told my eldest sister that the middle-aged man had brought a lady to befriend my dad to help him bear a son,” said Evelyn.
“But my dad responded, ‘I cannot do it. I cannot do it.’ He was a good husband.”
After their mum gave birth consecutively to 12 daughters, an old woman brought her to a place of worship.
Mrs Low Kee Yong gave birth to 12 daughters and eventually a son. “Every time Mum gave birth, she became so sickly,” said Evelyn.
There, she was told that she would have a son – “half a son”, which meant, “you won’t have him forever”.
But first, she would have to dedicate her future son to an idol.
“Whenever your mum gives birth, all the neighbours laugh at us because they know it’s going to be another daughter.”
“My mother, so desiring to have a son, immediately gave an angpao (red packet) to have this carried out,” said Evelyn, who is number 11 out of the 12 sisters.
Evelyn was about two years old when her brother was born.
“My parents really lived for him. All of us sisters really loved him,” she said.
White cloud in the bathroom
In his 20s, Bernard had his heart broken and became depressed.
He later shared with Evelyn that he had tried to take his own life.
“Only he and Mum were at home. He switched on the tap to let the water run so that mum wouldn’t hear anything,” said Evelyn.
“Before he did anything to hurt himself, he happened to look in the mirror and saw that his face was gory.
“And just as he was about to bang his head on the huge pipes, he heard a voice say, ‘My son, have faith’.
“Bernard then looked up. He saw a white cloud in the bathroom, and knew he had heard the voice of God. He knelt down and repented.”
“Just as he was about to bang his head on the pipes, he heard a voice say, ‘My son, have faith’.”
Bernard and another sister had earlier become Christians through Evelyn.
But Bernard had stopped going to church when their mum objected to him getting baptised.
Their mum, who lived in fear of retribution from idols, had told him, “If anything happens to me, you will be responsible.”
The three siblings had prayed day and night for their parents to come to know their God.
“However, the strong threat from my mum shook my brother,” said Evelyn.
“He was concerned for my parents and didn’t want anything bad to happen to them.”
Waking at 7am
After Bernard’s personal encounter with God in the bathroom, his habits became noticeably different.
“He started talking to his friends about God; his friends thought he had gone crazy. He was also more watchful about the company he kept,” said Evelyn.
After the encounter in the bathroom, Bernard, a late riser, would wake up at 7am to spend time with God.
Bernard’s parents, whose bedroom was next to his, noticed another change.
Bernard typically would only get out of bed at 10am.
“But every morning, God would wake him up at 7am on the dot. He would get up, kneel by his bed, worship God and read the Bible,” said Evelyn.
“It was really a transformation, for him to wake up so early.”
“It was taboo for my parents to go to church.”
On one occasion, Bernard managed to persuade their parents to go to church – Whampoa Christian Centre – with him.
Evelyn said: “None of us could have done that. It was impossible because my parents had the fear, their allegiance to the idols. It was taboo for them to go to church.
“After the church service, Mum went back to appease the idols,” said Evelyn.
The first and only other time the couple had entered a church was when Mr Low decided – at the eleventh hour – to walk Evelyn down the aisle at her wedding to Georgie in 1980.
Dream of his tombstone
Not long after the encounter in the bathroom, Bernard wanted to get baptised.
Shortly after, Bernard told Evelyn that he had a dream.
“He saw our parents crying at his tombstone, and the Lord saying, ‘Son, I’m going to use you’.
“It didn’t register that I should be concerned about it,” admitted Evelyn.
Dad couldn’t cry
Just one week before his baptism, Bernard was murdered.
“I didn’t even know how to tell my parents about what had happened to my brother,” said Evelyn.
When told of his son’s death, Mr Low said it was so painful, he couldn’t even cry; his tears were all inside.
“If I couldn’t accept it, how would my parents accept it? I was afraid they would die of shock.
“Finally, little by little, we told them the news. By God’s grace, my father said, it was so painful, he couldn’t even cry. His tears were all inside. He couldn’t express it,” said Evelyn, who choked up at the memory.
“If I couldn’t accept it, how would my parents accept it? I was afraid that they would die of shock.”
“It was very painful hearing this.
“Our family was in shock, grief. We were fearful because we didn’t know what had actually happened then or who had killed my brother.”
Three days after Bernard died, a man robbed a jewellery shop in People’s Park and stabbed the salesperson with a knife – the same knife that killed Bernard.
“The man broke the glass at the goldsmith shop, took some chains and ran out. A passerby caught him and called the police,” said Evelyn.
Under interrogation, he confessed to also stabbing a young man – Bernard.
As the man was found to have schizophrenia at that time, the judges ruled that he was guilty of culpable homicide, not amounting to murder.
“He was sentenced to life imprisonment but released after a few years.
Three days after Bernard died, a man robbed a jewellery shop and stabbed the salesperson with the same knife.
“It turned out that the man had just been discharged from Woodbridge Hospital. He was passing by on a bus when he saw a young man – Bernard – opening the gate of a big house. He thought he must be a rich man’s son and followed him into the house and demanded $1 million dollars.
“My brother gave him whatever he had. The man was not happy, and he chased my brother around the house and stabbed him 13 times in the back.”
The deranged stranger had earlier bought a high-quality knife from Beauty World Plaza.
“I think my brother must have run out of the house for help. He fell along the driveway, before he got to the gate. When we found him, he was in a stupor, probably from the pain and the shock.”
One death, many seeds
Their mother railed: “Your God is so big, how come He never protect my son?”
Admitted Evelyn: “Here I was, a believer, and I was asking the same questions. ‘Lord, why did You let this happen? Why, why, why?’
“Wouldn’t it be better if my brother were alive so that my parents can go to church with him? Logically it would have been better than all of us experiencing this terrible disaster.”
A memoriam to Bernard in the local newspapers.
Canon Dr James Wong, their pastor, gave the family the verse: “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” (John 12:24)
It would only be after Bernard’s funeral that Evelyn and her sisters would see the truth in this.
“I was a supposedly strong Christian – but I was very angry with God for a few days.”
Another pastor gave them verses from Isaiah 57:1-2: “The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.”
Said Evelyn: “I found it difficult to accept these. I was a supposedly strong Christian – but I was very angry with God for a few days.
“But in my anger, God spoke to me. He said, ‘Do you know that your brother did not die in vain?’
“That woke me up. I believed the promise of the Lord and decided to let go and let God take over. That gave me hope and changed my whole attitude.”
“I can no longer hold joss sticks”
Out of her grief, their mother said, “I’m going to give Bernard a non-Christian funeral.”
Said Evelyn: “Our whole church prayed that she would change her position.”
“My mum didn’t believe in Jesus, but she sensed something from the spiritual realm had come into the home.”
Their mother finally relented.
“She remembered my brother praying every morning by his bedside. She knew that he was a Christian. We were very thankful to the Lord for that.
“When my brother’s coffin came into the house with the cross, and our mother saw the cross, she said, ‘I can no longer hold joss sticks.’
“She didn’t believe in Jesus at that point, but she sensed something from the spiritual realm had come into the home.”
As their parents did not understand English or Mandarin, Evelyn found a Teochew-speaking pastor from Newton Life Church to speak at Bernard’s wake.
Mr and Mrs Low Kee Yong with Evelyn (right) and three of their daughters.
After the funeral, Bernard’s and Evelyn’s sisters who had stepped away from the faith came back to the Lord.
“My sisters were much impacted by Bernard’s fervent faith. They saw his strong desire to bring our parents to the faith, and his intimate relationship with the Lord.
Remarkably, the sisters who had not yet received Jesus also became Christians together with their husbands.
“Now I understood what God meant by ‘Son, I’m going to use you’,” said Evelyn.
A promise fulfilled
“After the funeral, the pastor visited my parents, and encouraged them to go to church. After a few visits, they agreed to.
“My parents knew that the only way to see my brother again was to embrace his faith.”
The pastor frequently checked up on the couple. A female elder would pick them up each week and take them to church and to the Bible study she ran for older congregants, where they enjoyed the fellowship and learnt to sing hymns.
Though not educated, Evelyn’s father was able to read the Bible (he had earlier taught himself to read the newspapers).
Mr and Mrs Low were in their 70s when they got baptised. “Bernard had previously told them that if they became Christians, there would be a round table in heaven for the entire family,” said Evelyn. Bernard’s parents have since joined him in heaven.
“It was a turning point for my parents. It was really a miracle for them to turn from what they once believed in for 70 years to accept Christianity,” said Evelyn.
“My parents would have never become Christians if not for Bernard’s death. And in his later years, Dad expressed his desire for all his grandchildren to know the Lord.”
Now almost all of Mr and Mrs Low’s 26 grandchildren and 24 great-grandchildren are Christians.
“I’m sure God saw us praying for our parents,” said Evelyn.
“Acts 16:31 goes: ‘If you believe, you and your household will be saved.’
“I believed God honoured the prayers of His children.”
39 years later
After Bernard’s passing, Evelyn found a handwritten letter to God in her brother’s bedroom. It was dated August 11, 1983 – just two days before he was killed.
She re-read it just before speaking with Stories of Hope in October – 39 years after Bernard’s death.
Evelyn was touched by the significance of one line that she hadn’t noticed earlier: “God, you bring me back to this world to perform work for you.”
Excerpt from Bernard’s letter to God. “Thank God that Bernard left this for us. It was so consoling and comforting to know how close he was to the Lord and how God was preparing my brother for what was to come,” said Evelyn.
Evelyn realised that her heart still needed healing.
Ten minutes before speaking with Stories of Hope, she was “suddenly overwhelmed” by the love of her Heavenly Father, and started silently weeping tears of joy.
“If Bernard had killed himself, my parents would have lost all desire to live and would have never come to know God.”
“For the first time I saw how much God loved my family that He would not let us be lost for eternity.
“Firstly, He intervened and supernaturally saved Bernard from taking his own life. If he had killed himself, my parents would have lost all desire and purpose to live on, and would have never come to know God.
“At the same time, God saw that my parents’ hearts were hardened and absorbed with the fear of losing Bernard. When their son died, there was nothing to hold my parents back, and they were freed from the lies of the enemy.
“Wanting to be reunited with Bernard in heaven for all eternity, my parents came to know and receive Jesus into their lives.”
The family’s faith would become their own.
“My parents really lived for Bernard. All of us sisters really loved him,” said Evelyn (third from right, with some of her sisters).
“My parent’s salvation was costly but Bernard’s death was the only way they would have come to Christ. God’s love and saving grace saved my parents,” said Evelyn.
“Truly my brother did not die in vain.”
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