Whenever Samuel Lim Lay Hock went out to buy drugs, his girlfriend would follow him, carrying their infant. She thought that it would throw the police off his scent.
When his father was dying, police took him, handcuffed and shackled, to say farewell.
His mother knelt before him, crying and begging him to give up drugs.
Sam with then-girlfriend Dorcas, and their daughter.
Sam – who is now 52 years old – was jailed five times, serving 10 years in total, and was given three strokes of the cane.
What hope was there for an addict like Sam who struggled with the grip of drugs for 22 years?
Rotten egg
Sam’s downward spiral began in primary school, which he took eight years (instead of the usual six) to complete.
The youngest child from a well-off family, Sam was the rebel who didn’t like to study.
When he got his report card with “F” grades, he forged his father’s signature to avoid punishment.
At age 13, Sam joined a gang. He sniffed glue, smoked, and got into fights.
“Since all the teachers thought I was scum, a rotten egg, I would go all out to show them it was true.”
Emboldened by his gangster status, “I chased after the secondary school discipline master with a wooden rod in my hand,” he admitted in Mandarin.
“I also recruited eight hooligan schoolmates to help collect protection money from our classmates and students in other schools.”
A parent made a police report, and Sam and his gang were caught.
Sam was publicly caned and expelled from school. This incident radically changed his attitude.
He decided, “Since all the teachers thought I was scum, a rotten egg, I would go all out to show them it was true.”
But behind his bravado, Sam secretly felt inferior and feared his classmates would look down on him.
Like a demon-possessed man
After getting expelled, Sam sniffed glue, snorted heroin, smoked cannabis and consumed psychedelic pills.
When he and his gang mates ran out of money to buy drugs, they resorted to stealing.
“It was a vicious cycle and I didn’t have a single day of peace.”
“We robbed a petrol station at midnight once. The workers came after us with wooden rods.
“It was a vicious cycle and I didn’t have a single day of peace,” said Sam, who lived in constant fear of being caught.
At age 17, he was arrested for the first time, and locked up with elderly drug addicts.
A senior addict advised Sam, “When you’re released, you must try to change if you can. If you can’t, you’ll probably remain like that for life.”
A teenage Sam soon grew numb to getting arrested, interrogated in cold rooms, splashed with ice-cold water, and manhandled.
But the man’s words were lost on Sam. He soon grew numb to getting arrested, interrogated in cold rooms, splashed with ice-cold water, and manhandled.
Sam spent the next 20-over years trapped in the grip of drugs.
He was always on the run from the police as he drifted aimlessly through the homes of fellow junkies, casinos, places of worship, red light districts and nightclubs.
One day, three of his friends were arrested in a drug raid. One was sent to the gallows.
Desperate for money, Sam started trafficking drugs in his 20s.
One day, three of his friends were arrested in a drug raid. One was sent to the gallows and the other two were sentenced to more than 20 years in jail. Sam wasn’t there because he had overslept.
But even that narrow escape couldn’t deter him from the path he was on.
“When the cravings came, I was like a demon-possessed man who couldn’t be bound with chains,” Sam said.
He felt sad, helpless and exhausted. His body and mind were in constant turmoil as he craved his next fix.
Drugs over daughter
Drugs were all Sam could ever think about.
Not even Dorcas – his heavily-pregnant live-in girlfriend – could convince him to quit. They fought day and night.
“Dorcas had to go to the hospital alone to give birth to our daughter because I stayed home to have my heroin fix,” said Sam. He feels guilty thinking of how he broke her heart, and how he wasn’t there to welcome their daughter into the world.
“I spent the money for our baby’s milk powder on drugs, even though she was hungry and crying.
“Worried that I would be arrested, my girlfriend followed me everywhere I went, carrying our baby. She hoped that the police would be less suspicious if they saw us together.
Drugs were all Sam could ever think about – to the extent of taking money meant for his baby’s milk powder.
“I also injected drugs in front of my mother. She knelt before me crying and begging me to give them up.
“But my heart of stone was further hardened by drugs,” he said.
Small breakthroughs
Sam was arrested for the fifth time in 2008. While he was on parole, his sister took him for a meal at Breakthrough Art & Gifts Cafe.
“I saw many familiar faces serving there. They were my former jail mates.”
One server shared how coming to Jesus helped turn his life around.
All Sam wanted to do was dash home to take drugs, but this message left a small imprint on his heart.
Subsequently, Sam’s sister took him to a service at Christian halfway house, Breakthrough Missions, that runs the cafe.
“I saw many familiar faces serving there. They were my former jail mates.”
Sam skipped out to find somewhere to shoot drugs and missed hearing former residents share their testimonies.
But after the service, he and his sister ran into Pastor Simon Neo, founder of Breakthrough, who was once a hardcore addict. Ps Simon prayed for Sam.
Shortly after that, Sam ran into Ps Simon again, and told him that after that prayer, he felt moved to take his daughter to Sunday School.
Ps Simon said, “The Holy Spirit is working.”
Said Sam: “On my way home, I kept thinking of the two coincidental meetings and what Pastor Simon said.”
The meetings could have only been orchestrated by God.
Convinced that God was looking out for him, Sam checked himself into Breakthrough.
There, he was taught to manage his emotions and began to develop a healthy lifestyle. He was trained to work in the cafe, starting with washing dishes, which gave him a sense of responsibility. Every day, he prayed and studied the Bible as part of the programme.
Sam experienced a gradual awakening by reading the Bible. Screenshot from Sam’s video testimony for Breakthrough Missions.
“I experienced a gradual awakening and realised what I had been doing was wrong and not pleasing to God.
“I needed God to save and forgive me. I also asked my family to forgive me.”
Escorted in handcuffs
Sam, 38, was in jail when his father fell seriously ill and was on his deathbed.
“The police escorted me, handcuffed and shackled, to say farewell to my father,” he recalled.
“I felt remorseful and guilty for not being a filial son, and for the pain and hurt I caused my family.”
A few months later, the police took Sam to the funeral parlour to pay his last respects to his father.
A grieving Sam stretched out his handcuffed hands to comb his late father’s hair.
The shame he felt at not being able to send off his father properly had a profound effect on him.
“I felt remorseful and guilty for not being a filial son, and for the pain and hurt I caused my family,” he said.
A new tender heart
Finally determined to reshape his life, Sam returned to Breakthrough and, this time, made a real effort to pray and read the Bible. He felt God’s love.
“God touched my heart of stone and made it soft and tender,” he said.
God had answered the prayers of Sam’s mother and siblings who had been praying for him all these years.
In 2011, Sam was released from prison for the last time – and left behind his “dark, corrupt and depraved past”.
He married Dorcas and become a thoughtful husband and father who planned for his children’s future.
Happy family: A reformed Sam with his wife Dorcas, and their daughter (who is now 17) and son (now 12).
In the 12 years since inviting Jesus into his life, Sam has not seen a single tear fall from Dorcas’ or his mum’s eyes because of him.
Sam receiving a gold award from Commissioner of Prisons Desmond Chin in the Yellow Ribbon Celebrating Second Chances awards ceremony in 2019.
Witnessing Sam’s change that they had thought impossible, Dorcas’ parents also chose to invite Jesus into their lives.
Once, Sam wallowed in drugs and prowled the red-light district at night. Today, he works as the manager of Breakthrough Cafe.
“I cherish and hold fast to what I have today – the new life that God has given me,” says Sam. Screenshot from Sam’s video testimony for Breakthrough Missions.
When cafe patrons share about their loved ones having problems with drugs, Sam points them to relevant sources of help.
He also shares his own experiences with them, encouraging them that with God’s help, change is always possible.
“I cherish and hold fast to what I have today – the new life that God has given me, and the happy family He has blessed me with,” he said.
This story was adapted with permission from the book What Amazing Grace produced by Breakthrough Missions.
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