Jenny Lim was notorious in her kampong for being “havoc” (wild and uncontrollable).
“Gangster girl”, as neighbours called her, was just 15 years old when she got pregnant and married “gangster boy”, who was 20.
Even before she met the gang leader, she was part of a triad of female gangsters. Every evening, they could be found smoking, drinking and gambling at the nightclub.
“Gangster girl” was just 15 years old when she got pregnant and married “gangster boy”, who was 20.
“I mixed with bad company and got involved in all kinds of vices,” Aunty Jenny, as she is affectionately known, told Stories of Hope in Mandarin. She turns 74 in January.
“I’m not sure why I was so curious; it was probably ‘monkey see, monkey do’.
“I had a very strong personality and bad temper, and I wasn’t very nice.
“In my rebellious phase, I was not afraid of death, and didn’t think of the consequences of my actions.
“When we had too much to drink and got unhappy, we’d get into fights.”
Jenny often fought with her husband, too. Then she found out that he had an affair, and they divorced.
Jenny was the second oldest of eight children; her siblings were “more upright, more conservative” than her.
She was often not around for their four young children – and left her mum to raise them.
Jenny (second from left) with three of her four children.
“When my family saw how messy my life was, they asked me to go to a place of worship to pray and chant with them.”
But it didn’t improve her life.
To support herself, Jenny – who dropped out of school in primary three – started doing business in Indonesia.
The self-described “iron lady” dealt in pirated cassette tapes, counterfeit health drinks and home appliances in Tanjung Pinang.
She didn’t keep track of how much she earned “because every time I earned money, I’d spend it”.
The “iron lady” dealt in pirated cassette tapes, counterfeit health drinks and home appliances.
“I liked Rolex watches and I would also buy full sets of diamond jewellery.
“I was very haolian (proud) and wore all my jewellery out,” she said, indicating how her arms would be decked in gold and diamonds.
Drinking buddies introduced her to more friends, who introduced her to drugs.
High on substances, she “no longer had the heart to work” and her business failed.
“I pawned all my jewellery to pay for drugs, and even lost the pawn receipts,” she said.
Jenny was 30 when she was thrown behind bars for the first time.
In all, she was in and out of prison a total of five times over the next 10 years or so – four times for xi du (taking drugs), and once for drug possession.
Jenny’s family visited her during her first two prison stints. Then they stopped visiting.
“I didn’t have a good relationship with my parents because I was rebellious,” she said.
“But they loved me, and constantly nagged and tried to talk me out of what I was doing. But I just wouldn’t listen. They and my siblings were very disappointed with me.
“Whenever I called home, I’d be asking for money or asking to be bailed out of prison.
“They would hang up on me and didn’t want to answer my calls.”
Jenny’s explosive temper often led to fights with other prisoners, and landed her in solitary confinement.
“See my face, people get scared.”
While other prisoners went for Christian counselling sessions and seemed to benefit from them, Jenny stayed away. No one seemed to approach her – except for a Christian volunteer.
“See my face, people get scared,” Jenny explained.
“She saw how messy my life was and told me, ‘Believe in Jesus, He can change your life.’
“I thought to myself, ‘I’ve tried praying to so many gods and nothing has changed me. Not even the government or my parents. How good it’ll be if this Jesus can change me’.”
“When she asked me to go for Christian counselling, I didn’t hesitate. I simply agreed to go because it seemed to be good for other prisoners.
“I noticed that after the singing and talks, their mood changed, and their faces seemed different when they returned to their cells.”
At the very first session, Jenny was struck by the first thing the pastor said: “God loves you so much that He sent His son Jesus to die on the cross on behalf of your sins. That whoever believes in Him will not die, but have eternal life.”
It was from John 3:16 in the Bible.
“When I heard the word ‘sin’, a lot of the wrong things that I had done surfaced in my mind – how I wasn’t filial to my parents; how I wasn’t a responsible mother to my children; how I was so rebellious and made my family lose face,” said Jenny.
“Then I just kept crying. The person beside me saw me crying and was shocked and asked, ‘What’s happening?'”
Jenny didn’t know what was happening either.
“Then the pastor told me that Jesus loves me. When she asked if I wanted to invite Jesus into my life, I agreed.
“I was not so easily triggered, my temper became milder, and I could talk better with my family.”
“After saying the prayer, I felt a weight come off me. It just dropped!
“I didn’t know what happened, but it felt very peaceful.”
Later, Jenny found out that she had experienced “the peace of God”.
“The love of Christ entered my heart, and step-by-step, I slowly changed.
“I was not so easily triggered, my temper became milder, and I could talk better with my family.”
On Jenny’s fifth release from prison in 1997, the pastor encouraged Jenny to phone her instead of her old friends. Jenny was 46 at that time.
This made all the difference.
“Otherwise we’ll just mix with the same wrong company and walk the same rotten path,” said Jenny, who had the best intentions “not to make the same mistake again” after each release from jail.
The pastor invited Jenny to her place, which turned out to be a church.
“There wasn’t anyone else in church, and I knelt and spoke a lot to God until I cried.
“When I quietened down, I heard a voice say ‘Go home, go home’.”
“I poured out all my pain to God and said I was sorry for what I had done.
“‘It’s been a long time since I’ve gone home. When I call home, my family hang up on me.’
“I said, ‘God, I want to be a good person, but I only have $10. what should I do?
“I even bargained with God and told Him, ‘If you give me a lot of money, I’ll do your work.’
“At that time, I didn’t know that faith is not transactional,” she said.
“The amazing thing was, when I quietened down, I heard a voice say ‘Go home, go home’.
“I didn’t know at that time that it was God’s Spirit speaking to me.”
To Jenny’s surprise, her family opened the door and welcomed her home.
“God made a way and helped reconcile me to my family when I repented,” she said.
Jenny and her sisters. Seeing the transformation in Jenny’s life, four of her seven siblings subsequently became Christians.
Her siblings “were no longer scared” of her, and advised her not to mix with her old friends, but to find a job instead.
This time, Jenny listened to them.
“When I was high on drugs, there was fear as my thoughts ran wild.”
She found a job as serving and clearing plates at a hawker centre.
“I never worked under anyone before as I was my own boss in the past,” she said.
Yet she did this “joyfully” for many years.
“It’s hard to describe this joy. But since knowing God, I’d pray and sing worship songs and read the Bible every morning when I wake up. I was full of joy.”
Asked to compare this joy to the high she got from drugs, Jenny said: “When I was high on drugs, there was fear as my thoughts ran wild.
“After the high, I would worry about having money to get my next fix, and worry if I’d get caught for doing drugs.”
When Jenny invited Jesus into her life, “the temptation to take drugs, smoke and drink miraculously went away”.
She also marvels that she did not suffer from ill-health from drug use, something she attributes to God.
But that is not to say that she hasn’t been tempted again.
She relates an incident when a friend was arrested and asked for her to help pack his home.
“If I had given the drugs to the girlfriend, I could have been implicated and arrested too.”
“I found drugs at his home. It was worth a lot of money.
“I thought of giving these drugs to his girlfriend who was still an addict, so that it wouldn’t be ‘wasted’,” she admitted.
“But God’s Spirit prompted me to dispose of them. So I dissolved the drugs in water and flushed them down the toilet bowl.”
Jenny is thankful that she did what she did – because the woman was nabbed by the police four days later.
“If I had given the drugs to the girlfriend, I could have been implicated and arrested too.”
Change has not been easy, she admits.
“Sometimes the old me – like my temper – comes back. So I have to keep going back to God and pray.”
“Sometimes the old me – like my temper – comes back. So I have to keep going back to God and pray.
“I really have to depend on Him and his Spirit to guide and teach me,” she said.
“I think the change happens gradually and God keeps transforming until we don’t even know we’ve changed,” said Jenny.
Her children saw the change in their mother. No longer did she crave jewellery like she once did. Not even when one daughter told her she could ask for whatever gift she wanted on occasions like Mother’s Day and on her birthday.
“My children are very good to me,” said Jenny, pictured with her children who are now between the ages of 55 and 58 years old. She has six grandchildren; the youngest is in secondary school, and the oldest is 21.
“Happiness from material possessions didn’t last long, and didn’t seem to fill my heart. It only filled me outwardly.
“I now consider these items useless. A life transformed by God is most important,” said Jenny.
For the last quarter of a century, Jenny has been going back to prison – this time as a volunteer religious counsellor from Christian Counselling Service (CCS).
She regularly visits inmates in prison to conduct faith-based programmes and provide them with spiritual and emotional support.
In August, Jenny was one of four volunteers who received the ThroughCare Hero Award from the Singapore Prison Service. Photo from Billy Lee Facebook.
At an award ceremony for prison volunteers in August, Associate Professor Muhammad Faishal Ibrahim (Minister of State, Ministry of Home Affairs and Ministry of National Development) said: “Jenny does this because she was touched by the warmth and belief of CCS and the volunteers, when she herself was in prison many years ago … The help from CCS and the volunteers, their belief in her, and their continued support to her after her release had helped Jenny turn her life around.
“For the last 25 years, Jenny has set out to use her life story to inspire those under her care. Indeed, she is a role model to many inmates, ex-offenders and volunteers alike.”
Jenny also keeps in contact with her old friends.
“Some of them are still drug addicts, despite being 70-plus years old. I try to encourage them to change, and bring them for drug rehab,” she said.
Some have joined her in serving the elderly.
Jenny makes regular visits to nursing homes and hospitals, bringing love and cheer to the lonely elderly.
Jenny works full-time at Blessed Grace Church. Through its social services arm, she befriends and plans activities for residents and looks out for the needs of the elderly needy living at two HDB blocks in Chai Chee, with the help of volunteers.
“Every Saturday we’ll clean their homes, mop their floors, wash their bedsheets and toilets,” said Jenny.
Jenny (left, in orange) and volunteers distributing groceries to the elderly needy at Chai Chee. Photo from Tony Teng Facebook.
Often, they are also called on to fix their furniture and appliances as well.
Jenny is also in charge of planning and distributing food and meals to the residents four times a week.
Once upon a time, Jenny went to Tanjong Pinang to sell pirated goods. Now she goes there to share her story of change with others.
“I tell them how I was and how I am now. Jesus has changed me, and Jesus can change them too!” said Jenny who was involved in starting a church for a Hokkien congregation.
“Remember previously I told God, ‘If you give me a lot of money, I’ll do your work?’
“God really gave me a lot of money – I’ve got many zeroes in my Indonesian bank account!” she said with a chuckle.
“He’s given me so much and I’m continuing to do His work.”
Why does Jenny do all that she does for others? “It is out of gratitude to Jesus who changed me. When you are trapped by drugs, it’s very hard for you to listen to what others are saying,” she said. Photo from Billy Lee Facebook.
“If not for Jesus, I would either be in prison, or in hell,” said Jenny.
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