I felt a deep dread when it was time for me to enlist into NS (National Service). Part of it stemmed from stories I’d heard from older boys.
I didn’t personally know anyone else who was enlisting on the same day as me – 6 June, 2006. The date read six, six, six – which felt like an ominous sign.
The countdown timer on my favourite soccer website was also counting down to the end of my life.
To make things worse, the day I enlisted was also the same day the World Cup was starting. I wanted to watch it, and it felt like the whole world was conspiring against me. The countdown timer on my favourite soccer website was also counting down to the end of my life as I knew it.
I thought that having a girlfriend would help me not to feel lonely during NS. So I decided to get involved in a romantic relationship.
The phone call
Unfortunately, during BMT (Basic Military Training), my relationship with my girlfriend started to go downhill. She had gone overseas to study, while I was stuck on a military training island. The stark contrast between our situations was depressing.
She told me over a phone call one night that she was thinking of breaking up with me. I was devastated. My life felt like it was hanging by a thread.
Later, on what was supposed to be a momentous night celebrating the end of BMT, I was asked to play the guitar and sing.
A few hours later, I got the phone call that broke my heart.
I chose the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, but ended up choking back my tears during the chorus.
A few hours later, I got the phone call that broke my heart.
My girlfriend said she was breaking up with me.
I sobbed under my blanket that night.
Joshua’s tear-stained guitar. He had suicidal thoughts while serving National Service.
The next day, I picked up my guitar again and played Still by Hillsong.
I cried again – and to this day, my guitar is still stained with old tears.
From buddies to brothers
Before I entered the army, I asked God if He could send me a friend so that I would not feel lonely.
He answered my prayer – but in a remarkable way I didn’t expect.
I met Bryan during BMT. He was my platoonmate and was always encouraging me.
We had many things in common.
I asked God if He could send me a friend in the army so that I would not feel lonely.
For example, we both did communications studies in school.
Bryan had also recently gone through a strikingly similar breakup as mine.
He also talked about his church life, which to me sounded very multicultural and pleasant; he even had a church friend who lived in my neighbourhood, whom I had somehow never met growing up.
In short, we bonded over our similarities.
However, it was only towards the end of BMT together that God revealed how He had answered my prayer to meet a new friend – beyond what I could ever imagine.
One day, Bryan and I were chatting by his locker when I spotted vitamin supplements inside.
He then shared how his mum sells these supplements and invited me to a roadshow where she would be that weekend.
Normally, I wouldn’t have attended an event like that, but I agreed to go because he was a close friend.
Bryan’s mum shook my hand when she met me. However, she seemed far more interested in the person standing behind me.
I went to the roadshow with my parents – only because they were going to buy me a lamp afterwards.
Bryan’s mum shook my hand when she met me. However, she seemed far more interested in the person standing behind me.
Suddenly, she smiled and exclaimed, “That’s my best friend!”
I turned around to see my own mum.
To my surprise, it turned out that Bryan’s mum and my mother had been best friends in their secondary school days – but they had lost contact over the years.
In the arms of their mums: Joshua (right) and Bryan, almost two decades before they ended up in the same platoon during National Service.
What are the chances that Bryan and I – who bonded so closely during BMT – were actually connected through our mums’ friendship that started decades earlier, all without our prior knowledge?
During the darkest, loneliest moment of my life, He helped me to meet someone who would become a brother.
Some people may call it luck, chance, fate or destiny; I saw it as God’s hand over my life.
During one of the darkest, loneliest moments of my life, He had helped me to meet someone who would become a brother to me.
Up to that point in my life, I’d always believed that God had a general plan for all of humanity. Yet, I couldn’t quite grasp how He had a specific plan for me as a unique person.
But the moment our two mums met again under seemingly serendipitous circumstances changed all that for me.
Psalm 139 in the Bible – which says that God had planned all the days for me, even before I was born – became very real and personal for me.
A new birth
When I realised that Bryan’s and my destinies were so intertwined, I decided to go to his church. I was already looking for a new church to attend at that time.
It marked the beginning of a new spiritual birth for me.
At church, I saw that people were just happy, worshipping God with great freedom. Their expressions and speech told me that they loved God and knew Him.
I felt like I had been taken out of the worst parts of my life and put into a safe place where I could feel God’s presence. During this time, I also went for Bible study where I learned more about Jesus and how to come into a relationship with God.
I felt like I had been taken out of the worst parts of my life and put into a safe place.
In the weeks, months and years that followed, I started taking one step at a time to rebuild different parts of my life, with God’s help.
I’ll be honest: It hasn’t always been easy.
I’ve had my share of setbacks. For example, while training in Australia, I was dropped from the pilot training school with the Air Force, at the last moment. I also struggled with anxiety during other moments of NS.
In addition, I’ve gone through some extreme career disappointments. I recently lost my full-time job and main source of income while having a wife and baby to support.
But I hold onto the faith. I believe God is showing me how He is my true provider amid my time of need.
Sure, there are days when I feel lost and am unsure of God’s direction for my life. Following Jesus is not always a bed of roses. But I believe it is worth heeding His call.
Joshua and son at a baby piano. His wife is a freelance children’s music and movement teacher. At church, she sings, and he plays the guitar and does audio- and voice-over production, and handles media projects and research projects.
At the same time, I know that God has helped me soar to some wonderful heights.
For example, I recall how I received a First Class Honours degree in history, got married and celebrated the birth of my son – after seven years of trying for kids.
Seeing how God intervened by helping me meet Bryan during a difficult time has changed the course of my life.
Now I know that God is able and willing to reach into our lives and guide our directions during key moments, even when we don’t expect it or understand how at first.
If you’re reading this now, my hope is that you’ll allow Him to do the same for your life, too.
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