Events, Health

Alone this Christmas? This viral TikTok couple is throwing a pizza party for strangers again

By Gemma Koh , 12 December 2024

In 2022, David Loh and his wife Esther blasted an invitation to those who needed company over Christmas to join them. This year, they are doing the same – and hoping to inspire others to do likewise. Photos courtesy of David Loh.

In 2022, their first TikTok Christmas invitation went viral and garnered more than 100,000 views. It attracted close to 300 RSVPs.

Once again this year, David Loh and wife Esther Chua have issued an open invitation on TikTok to people in Singapore who may otherwise spend Christmas alone.

Loneliness can feel more intense during the year-end – especially when everyone else seems to be surrounded by loved ones.

In a short video that went out on Tuesday (December 10, 2024), the couple said: “It’s the time of the year when it’s really going to be difficult for some. Christmas is the time when the lonely get lonelier, and the suffering suffer quieter.”

Said David in the TikTok post: “I remember spending two Christmases alone back to back, and I felt so lonely and so sad. So I can’t imagine how difficult it is for you if you’re already struggling mentally and you got no one else.

“So if you are free this Christmas Eve, we want to invite you for a pizza party. There is no huge agenda or programme. We just don’t want you to be alone.”

Gifts the couple and friends have prepared for guests. The couple have set aside a $1,000 budget for the party, and will sponsor pizza and side dishes (halal) to cater to as many guests as possible.

David is the manager at an art gallery, and Esther is a creative strategist at a social media agency. They are in their late 20s.

The gathering will be capped at 30 people, due to space and other constraints. Seats are likely to be given out on a first-come, first-served basis.

“We also want to keep the party small and intimate, and try to get a good mix of guys and girls so that interactions are more meaningful and comfortable for everyone who is a stranger,” David told Stories of Hope.

The 2024 New Year’s Eve party will be held at a friend’s event space and pottery studio in Chinatown.

Those keen to attend the pizza party can DM (direct message) David and Esther via their TikTok account: @davidandesther.

The party will be held on Christmas Eve, December 24, 2024 from 7pm till 10pm (or OTOT; own time, own target).

The location will be sent to confirmed attendees. If response exceeds available spaces, David says he will send an apology to those whom they are not able to host.

Strangers becoming friends

David shared the inspiration behind the party for people who don’t have anyone to spend Christmas with.

In an upcoming video by the Thirst Collective, he described the “terrible experience” and “weight of loneliness” of walking back home after work in 2020 and 2021, and “seeing everyone all dressed up, and going to a party”.

There is no agenda behind the party, said David.

“It was heartbreaking seeing the responses of people, telling us, ‘I just went through a divorce’, ‘I’m struggling with anxiety’.”

“We didn’t have lofty ideas like ‘Oh we want to change someone’s life’. No, we just wanted to change someone’s night. The heart is just to love people, and see where that takes us.”

Loneliness can feel more intense during the year-end season – especially when everyone else seems to be having a good time surrounded by loved ones and friends.

In a 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association, nearly nine in 10 (89%) adult respondents said that concerns – including missing loved ones – cause them stress at this time of year. Around two in five (41%) said their stress increases during this time compared with other points in the year.

“What was heartbreaking was seeing the responses of people writing in to us, telling us, ‘I just went through a divorce’, ‘I’m struggling with anxiety’, ‘I don’t have anyone to spend Christmas with – could I come to the party?’,” David said in the video.

“This year one DM came from a caregiver who feels “tired and lonely,” David told Stories of Hope.

Some RSVPs to the TikTok invitation David and Esther posted.

Everyone who came to their 2022 party didn’t know anyone else there beforehand, said Esther in the video.

A total of 45 strangers came to their party – held over three sessions instead of one, as originally planned – in 2022.

They included an empty nester in her 50s whose sons had moved overseas to study; a woman in her 30s spending her first Christmas without her late husband; and a man who had been on the brink of suicide.

“We didn’t have lofty ideas like ‘Oh we want to change someone’s life’. No, we just wanted to change someone’s night.”

Through a card game which acted as an ice-breaker, these strangers of different ages and religions got “very, very deep”.

“They shared about their struggles with us, and everyone could relate to each other in some measure. It led to people encouraging each other,” she said.

Said David: “They started crying, tearing, and then we would hug them.

“In that place of meeting and converging on loneliness, we suddenly felt like we were strangers becoming friends.”

After the party, some guests created a Telegram group to keep in touch. Some started following the couple in Instagram.

Will you do the same for others?

David and Esther’s Christmas outreach has attracted extensive news coverage and inspired others to reach out to the lonely.

“We are putting ourselves out there to hopefully inspire and encourage others to do the same for people who may have no one to spend Christmas with. It’s not about David and Esther. It’s about shining light to inspire others to do something,” said David.

(If you’re not ready to host complete strangers like David and Esther, look out for people among you: Friends who may be estranged from family, who may have lost a loved one recently, the foreigner in your neighbourhood or workplace – Editor.)

“You don’t need to be the best programme planner. You just need heart to love and to give.”

“Two years ago, when the media covered our effort, some youths were inspired to do something meaningful too. They bought cookies and Christmas snacks and went into the streets to give them out with encouraging messages of love and hope,” he said.

“We recognise Christmas is the busiest time for many, and it’s easy to forget that this is the season when the lonely get lonelier.

“Why not get a group of friends together to do something meaningful together? You don’t need to be the best programme planner. You just need heart to make space for others, to love and to give – which is the reason why we celebrate Christmas. To spread the love and joy.”