Family, Meaning of Life, Relationships, School, Work & Money
50-cent bets led to a 30-year gambling addiction and a debt of $3 million
By
Christine Leow
, 17 April 2025
Michael* started gambling seriously when he was 22. At one point, he lost half a million dollars in a year. Photo from Depositphotos.com.
TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains mention of a suicide attempt. Reader discretion advised.
At his peak, Michael (not his real name) was winning as much as S$100,000 in one go. But for him, gambling was never just about the money.
“I was looking for thrills,” Michael, now 56, said.
Six-figure wins fed the rush, but they were fleeting. For every high, there were long stretches of devastating losses.
One year, he ran up debts of S$500,000. On another occasion, he lost nearly S$20,000 in a single casino trip.
As his addiction worsened, he began begging from relatives, then stealing from them.
“In addiction, your head is re-wired. The thrill sets off dopamine,” he explained.
“Over time, you have to increase the stakes to get the same excitement – from once a week to every hour, from once a day to the whole day.”
Michael did not think twice about maxing out credit cards or taking loans. As his addiction worsened, he began begging from relatives, then stealing from them. Eventually, he turned to loan sharks.
“Another thing is, you’re chasing your losses. Those ‘miracle times’ when you win becomes ingrained in you. But most of the time, you don’t win.”
For 30 years, he lived in a cycle of chasing highs and falling into debt, unable to break free.
Calculator gambling games
It started when he entered junior college (JC).
Placed in “the worst class in terms of our studies”, he fell in with a group that did “all the naughty things” together.
“We played truant, and would go bowling, or play mahjong or snooker.
Michael’s three-decade-long addiction started with 50-cent bets in JC.
“We even gambled using calculators during lectures, instead of paying attention. We were so notorious, we caused our teachers a lot of stress.”
It is a phase in his life he regrets.
Because of that, Michael’s grades suffered. He only passed three subjects – not enough to get a full “A” Level certificate.
Then during National Service, he picked up smoking and drinking. Friendly mahjong sessions and calculator gambling were exchanged for playing the lottery.
It was also during this season that Michael struggled with life.
“I had a lot of questions: Is there a God? If He exists, why are there so many issues in the world? Why is life so unfair?“
Not finding any answers, he “drowned everything out with alcohol”.
Not-so-cheap thrills
At age 22, while working as an airline cabin crew member, Michael’s gambling got serious.
On a layover in London, colleagues took him to a casino. It was his first glimpse into the world of high-stakes gambling.
This was in 1991, long before casinos were introduced to Singapore.
“I was punting by the thousands. Otherwise, I wouldn’t feel the thrill. My friends said I was crazy.”
“I was captivated.”
On his next trip, he tried his hand at the card game, baccarat.
At every major city he stopped at after that, he would visit casinos. Within a few years, he had racked up a S$35,000 debt.
It took two years to pay it off. But once he did, he started gambling again – this time with higher bets and bigger risks.
Over the next cycle, he would get into bigger and bigger debts. On three occasions, his family had to help him to pay off six-figure sums.
“I was punting by the thousands. Otherwise, I wouldn’t feel the thrill. My friends said I was crazy.”
Broke and alone
Michael got married in 2005, but the addiction did not stop. In 2010, when casinos opened in Singapore, his gambling escalated.
“Every day, I would go in to play.”
Michael was 22 when he got his first glimpse into the world of high-stakes gambling – long before casinos were introduced to Singapore.
By this time, Michael had stopped working at the airline.
Eventually, he wiped out his savings, sold his car, and took money from joint accounts he held with a relative. Then he broke into a relative’s house to steal their jewellery to pawn.
In just one year, he lost half a million dollars. Moneylenders started showing up at his door.
“Because of this, my wife and I had a major fight. I flipped the bed in anger, and our one-year-old son was so frightened.
“That day, my wife left and went to her parents’. I was on my own.”
Man on the ledge
In desperation, Michael allowed a family member to sign him up for a year-long residential programme at a Christian halfway house for addicts.
But he struggled to fit in – they were mostly alcoholics and drug addicts; gamblers were only a handful. After eight months, he left.
Determined to stop gambling on his own, he got a job and rebuilt his relationship with his wife. For three years, he stayed clean – even warning colleagues about the dangers of gambling.
Then came a colleague who doubled as a bookie. The temptation was too great and he relapsed.
“Why was I causing pain and hurt to my family?”
He borrowed from moneylenders and loan sharks to feed his addiction. And within four months, he was in debt again – for S$400,000.
When creditors came knocking, the truth came out. Heartbroken, his wife filed for divorce.
“I was very tired of my life. Why was I causing pain and hurt to my family? I decided to end my life,” Michael said.
With his last S$15, Michael bought a bottle of cheap brandy and headed home. After writing a goodbye note, he climbed onto the ledge outside his bedroom window.
“I looked down at the carpark. Scenes of my life flashed before me. I thought of my six-year-old son.
“Then I cried out to God. I was at my lowest point.”
A divine encounter
Instead of jumping, Michael fled.
He went from place to place trying to gather up the courage to end it all, sleeping in his car when he was too exhausted.
After a week, the police found him. His family had reported him missing.
Finally, he was admitted to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH), where he was placed in an isolation ward.
Michael encountered God at IMH and began to change.
“I hadn’t bathed in a week. I smelled so horrible.
“The first two nights there, I cried. I cried till my pillow and bed were wet.
“I had never cried that much in my life. I asked God, ‘Why?’
“Then I told Him, ‘I just want to come back to You.’”
Michael remembered how, at age 15, he had found peace in Christianity and purpose in helping others before he fell away from the faith in JC.
After seven days, Michael was released and joined a weekly support group for gambling addiction. This time, he was fully committed to it.
The group, run by the social service arm of Blessed Grace Church, provided not just help but also community. As part of the programme, he attended church services.
“At worship sessions, I cried and cried, ‘God, make my heart passionate for you again.’ I was determined to change.”
“They understood … Everyone was walking together with me.”
He also joined a cell group which comprised of many members from the support group.
The support group and church gave him a community he never had before.
“They understood. They had the same struggle and the same background. There was no condemnation, no judgement. Everyone was walking together with me.
“Sharing openly at the group was also a form of healing. We needed to bring (our struggles) into the light to get rid of the darkness.”
A new purpose
It has been nine years since Michael stood on that ledge.
He listens to their members’ stories, supports their recovery and, when needed, helps others negotiate with moneylenders.
“When I negotiate with them, I’m reminded that I don’t want to go back again to where (I was).”
His life has changed in other ways too. “My temper has mellowed down,” observed Michael.
Once obsessed with winning, he also no longer feels the same way.
“I am being changed by God … I have been set free,” he marvelled.
Need Help?
If you or someone you love is struggling with gambling addiction, support is available. Visit Blessed Grace Social Services or call their helpline: +65 8428-6377.
This story was adapted from an article that was first published in Salt&Light.
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