Holiday Blues: Why do I feel so sian as the year winds down?

As the year draws to a close, there’s often much joy in gathering with our friends, celebrating the past year and looking forward to the new one.

For those of us who don’t have many plans during this period … things might be different.

But for those of us who don’t have many plans during this period, or have been through a rough year … things might be different.

Festive seasons can trigger feelings of loneliness in some. Witnessing parties and vacations on social media can also evoke jealousy and FOMO (fear of missing out).

The year-end period can also cause fear and anxiety for those of us who feel like we haven’t achieved our resolutions or resolved the problems the year has surfaced.

This general feeling has a name. The Institute of Mental Health (IMH) calls it holiday blues, a phenomenon where one feels stressed or overwhelmed nearing the year-end festive season.

This may be caused by the pressure of societal expectations such as needing to have plans, peers or parties in place, or the disappointment from not meeting one’s expectations for the year.

I have come to realise that it’s important to unpack everything to bring the year to a proper close.

I might be a little blue myself when I think about the year I have had. So much happened. I finally graduated. I found a full-time job that’s close to my heart. I found a new faith community to settle down in.

But I have also experienced much pain and setbacks during the year, especially in the areas of friendships and mental wellness.

This year has been a roller-coaster ride with a whole bag of mixed emotions. And I have come to realise that it’s important to unpack everything to bring the year to a proper close.

So, if you are feeling the blues more than the reds and greens of this season, would you consider trying out four simple strategies with me?

1. Reflect on the year

Looking back at the year, I realise that while I faced some losses in the area of friendship, I’ve also welcomed new people and new experiences into my life.

As I navigated through rejection and moments of brokenness, I found myself developing a deeper empathy for others. With encouragement from a few new friends, I took a leap and went on my first volunteer trip abroad to offer support to homeless communities.

We might even realise that we have gained something beautiful out of these difficult moments.

This is not blind optimism and we are not pretending that our challenges don’t exist. But because we are all bound to face difficulties in life, we can choose to be grateful for whatever good that has come out of it.

Regardless of how tough this year have been, we can choose to celebrate because we haven’t been completely overwhelmed by life’s storms. As tough as it might be, we have made it through the year. And we are now stronger and more resilient than before.

2. Reach out to trusted friends

Whether you are feeling sad, lonely, FOMO or sian during this season, look for a trusted person with whom you can be real. We don’t have to have a lot of friends, and you don’t have to fill up your calendar with plans to have company all the time.

It’s about letting someone in on what you’re facing and allowing them to look out for you. It’ll also be helpful if you can let them know how!

Reaching out to friends breaks the mindset that we are completely alone. It reminds us that we are seen, remembered and loved. There is always someone who cares and we do matter to them.

3. Reconsider your plans

Going for a volunteer programme around Christmas made me realise that we can actually help ourselves to cope with the holiday blues — we just need to learn to engage our minds and spend our time meaningfully.

Having no plans except allowing ourselves to rot at home and doomscroll will only intensify our loneliness and sadness. It’s easy to spiral further in jealousy and self-pity when we see or hear how much fun other people are having at their parties, or how many friends they are meeting.

Rather than drowning in misery, we should look for something meaningful to do.

Sign up to volunteer at events or join others to serve local communities.

Or join in a special service or event hosted by a church over Christmas and the year-end to discover the meaning behind the season that celebrates the birth of Baby Jesus. They will be more than happy to celebrate together with you.

Click here to find a church near you; and check out their respective social media pages or websites for programmes and timings.

4. Recognise the small wins

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a friend about how this year has been for me, and his response really caught me off-guard: “It’s so clear that something meaningful is unfolding in your life as you even as you are just taking small little steps.“

His words really moved me and shifted my perspective. Looking back, I could see that all the small steps I’d taken this year weren’t in vain. While breakthroughs or progress didn’t come in the way I’d expected, I realised that something much bigger was at play.

If we hold on, we can start to notice that each small step is part of a greater journey.

Before this year, I never imagined I’d find myself so quickly settled in full-time work that resonates so much with me, and I never anticipated building friendships with some people that I had recently met.

What felt like small, insignificant actions were actually part of something bigger that was unfolding in my life.

When we’re in the thick of things, it’s easy to feel like we’re just getting through the day, doing the next right thing. We can feel lost, disoriented, and sometimes even discouraged, wondering if we’re really making any progress.

Remember that you are loved, and may you find joy as you walk through this journey called life.

But even in those quiet moments, there’s a bigger picture being drawn. It’s often hard to see, but if we hold on, we can start to notice that each small step is part of a greater journey. In those moments, hope can rise up – hope that, even in the hard times, there is a greater purpose at work, helping us move forward, one step at a time.

But even in these quiet moments, there is still a purpose to our lives. Every small step is part of a greater journey. God our Creator who loves us, watches over us, and He will send the right help and the right people to care for us … we just need to ask Him to.

Take heart. Slowly, but surely, we will get there. Remember that you are loved, and may you find joy as you walk through this journey called life.