Family, Health, Meaning of Life

“My mum died in an exorcism ritual”

By Gemma Koh , 2 September 2024

TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains details of an unnatural death. Reader discretion advised. 

Paul Tan got a phone call that his mother was dying.

By the time he rushed to her flat, her body was cold. It lay in a black ring of burn marks on the terrazzo floor. 

His mum’s body lay in a black ring of burn marks on the terrazzo floor. 

“It looked like someone had tried to scrub away the marks on the floor,” Paul, now 69, told Stories of Hope

Paul’s brother was kneeling before the altar, chanting in desperation.

Two of their sisters had rushed off to fetch their mentor – the family’s medium. They returned without him. 

The family members were wailing and hysterical.

Rev Paul Tan

Paul is now a priest at St George’s Church. Photo by Gemma Koh.

Amid the chaos and the shock, Paul felt anger.

Just four days earlier, the computer auditor had warned his parents about dabbling with dark spirits.

He had reminded them of the horrific case just six years earlier in 1981 when two children were killed through the influence of a medium from Toa Payoh.

No joy, no peace

Paul’s father, a tally clerk at an import and export company, was deeply superstitious. 

He took the family to places where people asked for charms and had their fortunes told.

“When I was growing up, I saw one medium cut his tongue with a knife,” Paul, the oldest of six children, recalled. 

As Paul’s father became more involved in the occult, the mood at their “peaceful and happy home became very dark”.

“The medium took his tongue out of his mouth, used the blood to write charms on a sheet of paper, and then put his tongue back in his mouth. He gave the paper to his followers, asked them to burn it and drink the ash mixed with water.  

“My father had been told that my sister was born at the wrong time, and so blamed her for the family’s misfortunes,” said Paul.

“My family went into a financial rough patch for quite a number of years when business was hit.”

As Paul’s father became more involved in the occult, the mood in their “peaceful and happy home became very dark”.

“It felt oppressive. There was no joy, no peace,” said Paul.

Thinking of what is pure and true

The family’s struggles affected Paul during his junior college years at a top school.

“I did not do well at school. The competitive environment at RI (Raffles Institution) added to the pressure. There was also the pressure of being the oldest son in the family, with all my parents’ hopes pinned on me,” he said.

“I became severely depressed. I felt lost, and I wondered about my future.”

“The competitive environment at RI added to the pressure. There was also the pressure of being the oldest son.”

Seeking for meaning in life, Paul turned to books on various religions, including Christianity.

“I was trying to find who God is,” said Paul.

“While in National Service, I got the answer when my old friend from RI who was in the same camp, told me about Jesus.”

This friend – Soh Guan Chin – later became a pastor. 

Paul was drawn to “the peace, and the possibility of a new life and a personal relationship with Jesus”. 

Paul’s dad was not happy that his eldest son had become a Christian.

Paul’s mum placated her husband by saying that it was probably a passing phase.

“That kept him from throwing me out of the house,” said Paul.

Paul spent a lot of time reading the Bible and praying. 

Paul learnt to take control over the voice in his head that told him: “I’m no good, I’m no use.”

“When I read the Bible, it was as if God were speaking directly to me. I was willing to put my faith and trust in Him.”

They included verses like Philippians 4:8-9: whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things”.

Armed with them, Paul learnt to take control over the voice in his head that told him: “I’m no good, I’m no use, I have no future, no one is my friend.”

Paul became more and more involved in Christian activities, including teaching others about God’s Word. 

Chapel of Christ Redeemer planting

Paul (second from right) and friends were involved in starting two new churches. Next to him is Maureen, who would become his wife. Photo courtesy of Chapel of Christ Redeemer.

At St Andrew’s Cathedral, he was also part of a group that started new churches: the English side of All Saints Church and the Chapel of Christ Redeemer.  

Through this group, he met Maureen, the woman who would become his wife. She had been brought along by her university course mates – Guan Chin and Rennis Ponniah (who later became the Bishop of Singapore from 2012 to 2020). 

“God’s blessing and the fellowship with friends from church opened the world to me. I had finally found a purpose: Sharing God’s love with others, and teaching His Word,” Paul said.

Something bizarre 

Paul’s relationship with his family, however, remained strained.

Six days before his mum’s tragic death, the fiance of Paul’s sister turned up on his doorstep in Pasir Panjang.

Simon* was convinced that something bizarre was going on at the Tan family home.

“Simon had gone to visit my sister Ah Mei* a few times. Each time, he was chased away by the family and accused of being the devil,” Paul said.  

Each time, Simon was chased away by the family and accused of being the devil.

Through talking with Simon, Paul pieced together what had happened. 

A bewildered Simon had trailed his fiancee and her sister to a hawker stall in Bukit Merah. 

The hawker was a medium. He had taken Ah Mei and one of their sisters as his disciples. He taught the girls how to chant and invite spirits in.

“At night, he took them to supposedly haunted houses to fight with spirits,” said Paul.

“My family didn’t tell me that they had been consulting the medium for four months over our mother’s health.”  

Paul’s mother, who had undergone a successful operation for colon cancer the previous year, was suddenly afflicted by severe back pain. Afraid that she had a relapse, she refused to see the doctor.

The medium held seances at the Tan family home every night.  He had replaced the two idols – which the family had prayed to for years – with a larger set of idols. 

Ah Mei was the more involved of the two sisters.

“The trances left her weak, and we later found out she had self-flagellation marks on her body.

“While in a trance, she would beat herself with spiked metal balls,” Paul recalled in the book, Inside Stories: 12 True Life Stories.

Paul told Simon: “Only the power of God can break the demonic power over the family.” 

“The medium said that Mum would die unless Simon and Ah Mei broke up. Ah Mei was torn between trying to save our mum, whom she was close to, and the man she loved.

“The whole family turned against Simon, blaming him for their misfortune,” Paul told Stories of Hope.

Not knowing what to do, Simon came to Paul for help. 

Recognising that dark spiritual forces were at work, Paul told Simon: “Only the power of God can break the demonic power over the family.” 

Paul recalled: “As I prayed with Simon for freedom for my family, I asked him if he wanted to invite Jesus into his life. He willingly accepted.”

Playing with fire

Two days after Simon’s visit, Paul took his parents to Jack’s Place at Parkway Parade to celebrate Mothers’ Day.

Paul tried to tell them that the family was playing with fire.

“I reminded them of the infamous Toa Payoh case where two children were killed through the influence of a medium.

“I warned them about the dangers of dark spirits, but they said they knew what they were doing. They said that people have believed in these things for thousands of years, and that they would continue to believe the same way.”

But four days after his warning, Paul’s mother was dead. 

That fateful day

Paul found his mother’s lifeless body in the middle of a black circle on the floor. There were burns on her body and bruises on her face.

His mother was 57 years old at that time. 

Paul’s brother was trying to put himself into a trance to bring their mother back to life. 

“He was choking, struggling to breathe. He told me, ‘Please help me. There is something inside me. I feel uncomfortable’,” Paul said.

“We have the authority in Jesus’ name to deal with dark spiritual forces.”

Ah Mei and a sister, who had gone to look for the medium, had returned home.

“The medium didn’t come with them. Ah Mei realised she had done something, and was not in her right mind. She was rolling on the floor, sobbing and crying,” Paul said.

In his years of being active in Christian ministry, and studying and teaching the Bible, Paul recognised that Ah Mei and their brother were possessed by a dark spirit.

“I said, ‘In Jesus’ name, I bind this demon and command it to leave’.

“Slowly, they returned to their senses,” he said. 

It was the first time Paul had prayed such a prayer.

“By God’s grace, we have the authority in Jesus’ name to deal with dark spiritual forces,” Paul said, quoting Mark 16:17. 

Possessed by demons

After their mum’s death, the family refused to remain in their flat and went to stay with Paul and Maureen. 

Slowly, Paul gathered what had happened after the Mothers’ Day lunch.

Ah Mei claimed that ghosts were coming to attack them, and she heard voices including that of Satan. Terrified of even shadows, the family weren’t able to sleep in the nights that followed. They kept praying to their gods, but there was no answer.

On the fateful afternoon, a demon entered Ah Mei while she was in a trance.

“She announced that she was a certain deity and needed to exorcise the evil spirts from our mother so that she could be healed.”

Possessed, Ah Mei shook and hit her mother, stepped on her, and banged her head on the floor.

She sent her siblings to get whatever joss sticks they could from the neighbours. Then she jabbed their mother with the burning joss sticks until she died. 

“Our siblings couldn’t resist her. They too, were under the control of the dark spirits,” said Paul of the ordeal.

Ah Mei had not eaten or drunk anything for four days after burning her own throat with joss sticks while in a trance. 

“Her hands and arms were bruised with teeth marks. I suspected she had bitten herself, but I could not explain the bite marks on her back. They looked like human teeth marks.

“Ah Mei said it was where the demon sucked her blood,” Paul said.

Only one person could help

A few days after their mother’s passing, Ah Mei was groaning in agony. Paul took her to the Accident and Emergency of a hospital, which then referred her Woodbridge Hospital (now known as the Institute of Mental Health).

There, the psychiatrist asked her to show him the voices she heard.

“She spoke in three different voices: The low voice of a male fighter, a milder voice of a grown woman, and a child’s voice,” recalled Paul.

“She was pronounced mad, but I discerned that they were the spirits from certain objects brought into the family home.” 

“Dabbling in certain spiritual practices – even seemingly harmless ones – can open doors to spiritual forces that you are not aware of.”

Ah Mei was not coherent when Paul left her at Woodbridge in order to see to their mother’s funeral. 

When he returned to visit Ah Mei three days later, he was amazed by the change he saw.

“She had recovered. She joyfully reported that Jesus had appeared to her, saying that He had sent the spirits away,” he said in wonder.

“She was in her late 20s, had never been into a church, and had never read the Bible in her life.” 

But she had recalled Paul’s words as he was driving her to Woodbridge: “Only Jesus can help you. Call on Jesus.”

Paul, Maureen and Simon took turns to visit Ah Mei at Woodbridge. 

“Ah Mei knew that something had happened, and that she was responsible for it. She was extremely remorseful about what she had done. In time, she learnt to accept that Christ had forgiven her,” said Paul. 

Simon’s presence and support gave her the assurance to get better.

“She joyfully reported that Jesus had appeared to her, saying that He had sent the spirits away.”

Ah Mei didn’t have a memory of the incident itself.

“It would have caused her more trauma and pain. We saw it as God’s saving grace.”

 According to Paul, two of their siblings served a few months in jail. Ah Mei was not charged.

Ah Mei became a Christian, and so did their siblings. Their father gave up the idols, but Paul later discovered that he remained in touch with mediums. 

Ah Mei and Simon married a few years later, and had children together. Ah Mei passed in the early 2020s from an illness.

Releasing anger

“For a long time after Mum’s death, I didn’t want to speak to my father,” Paul admitted.

“Every time I saw him, it triggered my anger. I even punched him once.

“Every time I saw my father it triggered my anger. I even punched him once.”

“I had warned my father. He had made choices that brought in the dark spirits, and he was responsible for Mum’s death.”

Maureen would step in as an “intermediary” to try to make things amicable between father and son.

However in time, Paul realised that “holding on to this anger was not doing me any good”.

“It was preventing me from thinking well about my family. 

Paul oversees pastoral care for seniors at St George’s Church. Photo by Tan Kee Wee.

“It took many years of soul searching for us to talk normally like father and son, and for me to show him love and support. I couldn’t do it alone. I did it with God’s help,” Paul said.

“Towards the end of my father’s life, he told us he was a Christian when he was a young child. I believe he returned to the faith, and this was comforting for the family.”

Paul’s father was in his early 70s when he passed on in the 1990s. 

Out of the ashes

The tragedy prompted Paul to think about how he wanted to live his life. It also triggered in Paul a memory of wanting to use his life to serve God and help others.

A few months after his mum’s passing, this was confirmed at St John’s-St Margaret’s Church, when a speaker called him up to the front and announced: “God has a calling on your life to an adventure to serve Him.” 

Said Paul: “Maureen, who had always wanted to marry a pastor, was supportive.” And so was his family. 

Paul quit his job. He and Maureen sold off their flat and car, and went to live at Discipleship Training Centre, where Paul studied for two years.

Rev Paul Tan shares his story to tell of God’s power. Photo by Tan Kee Wee.

Paul cautions others not to fall into the danger that his family was sucked into. 

“Dabbling in certain spiritual practices – even seemingly harmless ones – can open doors to spiritual forces that you are not aware of. They are real and awful, as my family has experienced.

“Jesus says, ‘The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.’ “(John 10:10)

*Names have been changed at the request of the interviewee.


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